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Check It Out!

The US Defense Department's has created an Office of Strategic Influence, to help improve the United States' image abroad. Some initiatives the OSI will be pursuing:

  • US will renounce policy of unilateralism and instead adopt a policy of monolateralism

  • Friendly nations eligible to join the "Axis of Awesome!"

  • Hollywood will be pressured to withhold "Super Troopers" from overseas release.

  • Fliers reading "USA: You Gotta Love It!" will be dropped over hostile nations.

  • For each UN vote, one nation, chosen at random from those who vote in accordance with the United States, will receive a Nintendo GameCube.

  • Bush will soon be sending out Evites concerning a bowling and karaoke party the US is organizing for Saturday, March 2nd.

  • Vice President will send card, small gift to each nation on it's birthday.

  • All overseas McDonalds will offer free Super Sizing for a week.

  • NBC will devote three minutes of every hour of Olympics coverage to non-US competitors.

  • US will create humorous, snarky weblog and urge other nations to "come check it out!"

Posted on February 19, 2002 to Favorite Posts