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Index of Evil
Bush Releases 2002 "Index of Evil"

After weeks of intense lobbying by congressional Democrats, President Bush today released the 2002 Index of Evil, a comprehensive list of everything that the President has declared Evil in the last 12-months. Bush has publicly mentioned some of the Evildoers since the War On Evil began some six months ago, but members of Congress have insisted that they be given access to the entire list. Many of the names and items on the 3-page handwritten document were expected, such as "Osama bin Laden", "Tom Daschle" and "Losing Your Car Keys", but entries such as "Lilac Scented Soap" came as a surprise. Bush noted that the items are not necessary listed "in order of Evilness," but that "Rhubarb Pie" was "not in the #1 spot by accident."

Other instances of Evil (and their accompanying notes) included:

  • "Taliban"
  • "New Linkin Park video -- Linkin Park sux!!!!!"
  • "Anthrax"
  • "Recession"
  • "That French ice skating judge"
  • "Terrorism"
  • "Terrorists"

  • "Bette Midler"
  • "Cheating At Yahtzee -- you know who I mean Dick!!"
  • "40 Days and 40 Nights -- they showd all the funny scenes in the commercials"
  • "Iraq"
  • "Ham Sandwich I got Larry's Market, last Wensday -- Lettuce was totally wilty!!"
When asked by reporters why "Enron" had not made the list, Mr. Bush hastily jotted the failed company's name on the bottom of page three and said "Evil."

Posted on March 06, 2002 to News