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"Dude, Pass the Boot Dryer"

My wife, a botanist, owns a truck which she uses when doing field work. The bed of the truck has a lockable canopy over it, and inside is a large trunk. The trunk is blood-red, with a bronze frame and an ornate lock. This is exactly the sort of ancient trunk where you would expect to find either

  • A priceless treasure, full of rings fashioned by the craftiest of dwarves, platinum-tipped arrows enchanted by the Elder Elven Council of Thom, diamonds as large as Granny Smith apples and countless coins minted from every precious metal known to the inhabitance of ManaEarth; or
  • A collection of automotive and fieldwork equipment, including jumper cables, a quart of oil, an old milk jug fill of water, a bag of kitty litter (for traction), leather gloves, a rain hat, and an $20 electric boot dryer.
Last night some punks broke into both the canopy and the trunk. They took the boot dryer.

Posted on April 10, 2002 to The Queen