My gym, 24 Hour Fitness, is currently having a "Hawaiian Days" special! Here's some of the things they are doing in honor of the event:

• Giving away a trip for two to Honolulu
• All employees are wearing leis.
• Front desk receptionist answers phone "Aloha, and thank you for calling 24 Hour Fitness!"
• Brochures and schedules rewritten using a 13-letter alphabet.
• The signs on the Mens and Womens locker rooms have been changed to read "Kanes" and "Wahines".
• All clocks now show Hawaii Standard Time
• Humuhumunukunukuapua`a adopted as the official fish.
• Ceremony will recreate the discovery of 24 Hour Fitness by oceangoing Polynesians.
• Will release wild mongoose into the 24 Hour Fitness environment in an ill-conceived attempt to control the rat population.
• 24 Hour Fitness will renounce monarchy and become newest the state to join the Union.