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How Does Soap Work

Dear Answer Guy,

How does soap work?

Heather Kern,
Panda Springs, OH

Soap molecules are made up of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen atoms. These three elements work in conjunction to lower the self-esteem of dirt and grime, eventually driving it off all together.

Your body is covered with a protective layer of oil, secreted by your skin. This layer forms a barrier that prevents dirt and particles from entering your body's pores, but you will begin to look "dirty" as soil becomes trapped in this protective layer. When soap is first applied, it mingles with the dust and other foreign matter coating you body, insincerely promising friendship and intimacy. After the soap has become accepted into the so-called "filth clique," it then turns on its new "buddies" -- first by undermining their self-confidence with subtle digs and "accidental" misstatements, then later assaulting the grime's esteem by "dogging" on it with blatant, witty, mean-spirited insults called "snaps". Betrayed by its newly found "friends," the dirt and grime slink from the scene and leave the skin cleansed.

Answer Guy

Posted on June 12, 2002 to