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Don't Spend All My Love

I finally got so sick of that "Don't Spend All My Love (In One Place)" song that I took action. You know the song I mean, the one by Friday Father that you hear on every radio station and at baseball games and on tv commercials, the one with the tune so awful yet catchy that you can't get it our of your head for fortnights? Oh -- hah hah, of course you don't know the song, now. Well, trust me: this was the most obnoxious song of all time. Worse than "Who Let the Dogs Out," even worse than the "Macarana" -- it was terrible. So yesterday I went back in time and told Malcom Cander (grandfather to Stephen Cander, lead singer / songwriter for Friday Father) that I was his finacee's lover, which caused him to call off his engagement to Katherine Sinceso. Since those two neither married nor had children, the existence of Stephen Cander was negated. And sure enough: when I returned the band was gone and the song never existed! Yay!

Of course some other stuff got screwed up too, as always happens when you change time like that: there's a polio vaccine now (which is obviously a great side-effect) but apparently the Dominican Republic is no longer the 51st state. Despite all the changes, I'm sure you'll agree it was worth it -- that song was terrible! Well, I guess you wouldn't agree, since you've never heard the song, now. To you everything must seem the same as it's always been.

You know, it didn't really occur to me until this moment that I'm not going to get any credit for doing this.

Posted on June 17, 2002 to Favorite Posts