War On Iraq Evite.
Posted on September 12, 2002 to Favorite Posts
sadly, i'll be at a baby shower in Novato...but have fun without me!
i'm in! i hope they let me push that big shiny red button!
Matthew, you throw the best parties. Who else could get everybody together for a war on Iraq?
I want to sit next to Geraldo. He always tells the best jokes (or is a joke, I forget which).
What's up, man? I thought you were cool. What about all of those fighter jets I bought from you? I mean, sure it's all money coming from the U.S. anyway, but hey...
After we're done with Iraq I have some ideas about the PLO. Let's talk.
I'll be there in leather bell bottoms and GWB shit-kickers and a pretzel t-shirt!
I'll bring the troops, but I'm the only one that will be drinking... dos cervesas por favor!!! Oh, my date is alergic to seafood, pufs up like a blow fish... Can you make sure that one of the pizzas is vegie, and keep Gen. Swartskoff away from it or there will ne none left when we get there...
i hope denmark doesn't forget the guacamole like last time.
You know I'll be there, what's this party without me? I'll bring my "Smug Triumphant Fanfare" CD's... you'll love 'em.
See you there! I'll bring the puppet government that lets us get into their oil reserves.
Well, count me in! I'll even bring bean-dip and those little packages of cherry Kool-Aid. I just want to make sure we're going to have cute little matching T-shirts. I'm a small.
Cool, Hey what time will this be over? "Whose Line Is It Anyway" comes on at 9, and I don't want to miss it.
Please wait until 9 pm when the Simpsons is over as I have only seen this episode 4 times and don't want to miss it. Is this going to be a theme party? Can I be a cowboy or maybe a character from the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
PS I will bring the wine.
Dear George W:
Looks like you're planning on throwing a party in Iraq. What you don't seem to get, is that no one really wants to come to your stinky party.
Let's face it, you have bad party planning skills, George....
You're dad already threw this party a decade ago,
and the guest of honor, Saddam, never showed.
He obviously dislikes your pop music DJs,
warm soft drinks and bad party favors.
Not to mention multi-national catering
by Mc Donald's, Burger King,
& KFC, etc.
his party is way out of control, George, and you better wake up and look for a responsible driver to get your ass home where it belongs:Texas.
If France isn't going to show, I'm there. Nothing ruins a party more than those whiny semi-socialist assholes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the charred smoldering corpse of an Iraqi civilian burnt to cinders by a "precision" bomb that was meant to hit "military targets". Don't forget the marshmallows, hershey bars, and graham crackers!
Bush has organized a bash--and with his battle flag unfurled,
He has sent out invitations to the leaders of the world;
Every guest should bring a dish, he says, and it'll be a blast!
RSVP right away! But first Chirac says, Not so fast--
We would need UN approval first, before we can consider
Such a soiree. Then Kuwait says: if we find a babysitter
We can come, but we won't act alone, although it sounds divine.
The Italians might come later, bellies full of cheese and whine.
Schroeder vows the Germans' party days are past: they won't go out.
"That sounds fun, but is it legal?" wonders Putin, full of doubt.
A feast so rich, says Fox from Mexico, is deadly for its diet;
Our neighbors to the north complain, preferring peace and quiet;
The Saudis, Pakistanis, and Iranians protest
That bullies throwing parties don't deserve a single guest.
Chinese leaders are discreet, play hard to get; the Turks oppose
The plan, but if they are forgiven all the debt their country owes,
They might swing by. Bush wants to party, and he wants the "in crowd" there--
But no one's voting him Most Popular, except for Tony Blair.
Yeah, I'll be there with about 50 of good ole buddies from the first party (if they aren't dead already from the moron who knocked over the chemical weapons back in the 91 bash) We'll be happy to come out and get shot at again. Oh BTW if we get sick again don't tell us it was stress.
What's a war without tunes? I'll bring the jello shots, too. It's the least I can do for our Commander-in-Chief and troops. It is time, Mr. President.
Someone needs to remember the McDonald's franchise agreements for the "after-party."
Totally missed out on that in the last Iraq-a-rama.
O.K. I'll come if we can leave out the military and bring in the Chippendale Dancer's!!! Lets show Iraq what a real men are made of.
Gee... wish we could make it, but Moussolini's descendents are coming over for prosecco that night. And we KNOW how rowdy THEY get.
Is Carson Daly covering this one?
I'd join the party if it weren't for the obvious fact I'm dead. I hate Saddam - he used chemical weapons against my people... that he got from George W.'s daddy - come to think of it, I kinda hate the U.S. too, maybe I wouldn't come if I were still alive.
Let me know when you're coming. I'll need a few days to clean the place.
Count us in! Sounds like a good ol' fashioned football hooligan weekend!
i heard ashcroft will be wearing the constitution as a loin cloth. that joker! condi is wicked on the karaoke...hit me baby one more time.
Might be there. However, might also be in the underground bunker in Colorado Spri...Errr..."an undisclosed location."