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"Star Wars: Episode III" Trailer To Air Before Iraq War

Lucasfilms Ltd. has inked an exclusive agreement with the White House to air the "Star Wars: Episode III" trailer before the upcoming War on Iraq. "The most exciting military action of the 21st century just got better!," boasted White House spokesman Ari Fleischer. "You'll come to see Anakin, but you'll stay for the bombing!"

Calvin Penner, market analyst for Variety, says the arrangement is a big win for both parties. "It's a perfect fit. The key demographic for the Star Wars franchise tends to be middle-class males, 18-40, who want to experience all the drama and adventure of battle without ever leaving their chair. And that's exactly who the White House hopes will rally behind this war."

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was equally enthusiastic. "The America people will get to see the conclusion to the Star Wars Saga and the Saddam Saga all in the same year," he said at a press conference earlier today. When asked what would happen if military strikes against Iraq were ultimately found to be unnecessary, Rumsfeld replied "No war, no trailer -- that's the deal we signed."

The message boards at jedijunction.com were immediately flooded with fans eager to discuss the latest development. "the midle-east looks just like tatoonie so this works out grate!!" noted one. But some worried that anti-war protests could derail the event. "If you see any hippies, tell them to go home!" a poster urged. "They're probably a bunch of new-age Trekkies anyhow."

As part of the agreement, a new subplot -- in which Obi-Wan Kenobi urges the Republic to slash taxes -- will be added to the Episode III screenplay. In return, the US Government has promised to digitally insert Jar-Jar Binks into 5% of their Iraq War footage before turning it over to CNN. Bush's request that Lucas loan them "some of those Battle Droids," however, has reportedly been denied.

Posted on October 03, 2002 to News





Comments

Rumors are flying that there will be a cameo appearance by George Bush. In a tongue-in-cheek moment, he'll play a physically fit Sith Lord who actually is under the mind control of a very smart, but cardiovascularly weak, retired Jedi master.

Posted by: Lost Poke on October 3, 2002 12:47 PM

OMG that is sooooo keen.
There ya go.

Posted by: Dan™ on October 4, 2002 8:49 AM

if i sign up, where do i find my lightsaber, ps can i have a green one?

Posted by: phil on October 6, 2002 11:16 PM

I love star wars

Posted by: neowulf on November 2, 2002 12:29 PM

heyya...

Posted by: Anonymous on December 26, 2002 6:53 AM

I love star wars tooooooo!

Posted by: la fem jedi on March 4, 2003 4:01 AM

a;fd
and by the way poop ,and the best western hotel has poop on the floor

Posted by: Anonymous on March 11, 2003 4:27 PM

I LOVE IT

Posted by: SAM on April 9, 2003 2:42 PM

i love it, and allso, Nathalie Portman

Posted by: Alex on May 18, 2003 11:19 AM

star wars owns joo!

Posted by: Anonymous on July 29, 2003 1:25 PM

star wars owns joo!

Posted by: Anonymous on July 29, 2003 1:25 PM

I wonder if this is what Mr. Baldwin expected or hoped for when he posted that story...

sTaR wArs is 1337!

Posted by: Hannah on November 23, 2003 12:00 PM

I'm a huge fan of Star Wars, I love it, makes me travel to an other universe far far away

Posted by: Hugo on January 12, 2004 5:28 AM

Hi has anyone seen episode's III trailer

Posted by: Martha on March 21, 2004 6:06 PM

Star wars is the best! I don't care what other people think about it.

Posted by: Garett on April 17, 2004 10:32 AM