Many women use Halloween as an excuse to dress up in skimpy, sexy outfits. You should not be one of them.
Make sure your "Human Torch" costume is flame-retardant before setting it ablaze.
To avoid breaking fingers while stealing candy, grip a roll of quarters when punching other children.
Prevent stomachaches by eating no more than one Snickers bar per minute.
Stop sending me that jpg of the vomiting pumpkin or I will kill you.
Only put safety razors in apples.
It's always a good idea to write your incantation down backwards on a piece of paper and keep it handy during the ritual, just in case you need to do a hasty unsummoning.
While Trick-or-Treating, it's best to wear a bright, reflective vest over your Spider-Man costume to ensure that you look totally lame.