As The Queen and I watched Solaris, we couldn't help but notice that the teenage couple sitting behind us was in dire need of a garroting. The girl yammered through pretty much the entire thing. Occasionally someone would glare at her and she'd say "oops, sorry!" and then remain silent for the shortest possible length of human-perceptable time before launching into a verbatium account of the great AIM session she'd enjoyed that afternoon.

The guy was quiet throughout most of the movie, except during the three or four scenes which prominently featured George Clooney's ass. The kid apparently had some sort of logorrheic post-hypnotic suggestion that the sight of Clooney's ass would trigger.

[Scene prominently featuring George Clooney's ass begins] Uh, whoa, uh, hah hah, man, this is a long movie. I know it's long because I, uh, I am looking at my watch right now, and notice what a long movie this is. I mean long as in uninteresting. There's a lot of stuff in this, uh, movie that I'm not interested in, like, uh, the dialog, and George Clooney's ass, and other things that I'm totally not interested in looking at, like George Clooney's ass, which I don't even know is in this movie because I am looking at my watch at the moment, but I'm just giving that as an example as something which may or may not be in this movie that I, personally, would have no interest in looking at. Have you ever been to SeaWorld? My favorite part of SeaWorld is [Scene prominently featuring George Clooney's ass ends] the, uh ... hah hah, uh, hmmmm, penguins, hm.