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Children Should Be Neither Seen Nor Heard
As The Queen and I watched Solaris, we couldn't help but notice that the teenage couple sitting behind us was in dire need of a garroting. The girl yammered through pretty much the entire thing. Occasionally someone would glare at her and she'd say "oops, sorry!" and then remain silent for the shortest possible length of human-perceptable time before launching into a verbatium account of the great AIM session she'd enjoyed that afternoon.
The guy was quiet throughout most of the movie, except during the three or four scenes which prominently featured George Clooney's ass. The kid apparently had some sort of logorrheic post-hypnotic suggestion that the sight of Clooney's ass would trigger.