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Dr. Phil Addresses Nation's Consumers

Self-help guru Dr. Phil McGraw addressed the nation's consumers last night during a speech televised by all major networks. "You cannot play the game of life with sweaty palms," McGraw told the estimated 50 million viewers, adding "I'm not trying to beat you up, I'm trying to wake you up." The speech was given at the behest of the Bush administration after consumer confidence plunged to a two-year low in the fourth quarter of 2002. Dr. Phil, noting "it's sometimes its hard to see your own face without a mirror," suggested that consumers write down their good qualities on a sheet of paper and bring it with them to the mall as a way of bolstering self-esteem while shopping. Oprah Winfrey, meanwhile, has been dispatched to North Korea, where she will speak to Kim Jong-Il about his constant need for validation.

Posted on January 17, 2003 to News