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Greenspan Sees Shadow, Predicts Six More Weeks of Low Interest Rates

With members of Congress gathered in front of his Washington DC residence, Alan Greenspan emerged from his home this morning and saw his own shadow, thereby predicting six more weeks of low interest rates. "Some have said that deficit spending will drive interest rates up," said Speaker of the House Denny Hastert immediately following the ceremony. "But Alan Greenspan, seeing his shadow here today, has told the American people in no uncertain terms that the Bush Administration has this nation on the road to recovery." Top Democrats, however, were quick to cast doubt on the accuracy of the prediction. "The man has, like, twenty / four-million vision," said Senator John Kerry. "Who can really say what he sees or doesn't see?" Greenspan, who retreated into his home after fetching his newspaper, is expected to remain secluded until April 20, when he will perform his annual egg-hiding duties.

Posted on February 11, 2003 to News