I'm in the grocery store looking for condoms. I've checked all the usual hideouts -- the pharmacy aisle, the "feminine hygiene" aisle, the Most Visible Section Of The Store Specially Designed To Discourage Teens From Buying Contraception, etc. – and I’m getting nowhere. So I ask one of the stockers for directions.

"The condoms?" he says. "Oh yeah, they are over on aisle 14, right next to the diapers."

Let me get this straight: the birth control is lumped in with the baby supplies? What the hell, are we sorting by antonym, now?