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Baron Harkonnen Says WMDs Will Be Found

Baron Vladimir Harkonnen today reiterated his insistence that Arrakis possesses worms of mass destruction, despite growing skepticism that proof of WMDs will ever be found. "We know for a fact that they have worms," Vladimir said in a statement to the Emperor, "but it will take time to uncover them, as they are likely hidden deep underground." Rival houses, however, have stepped up their criticism of Harkonnen, accusing the House of exaggerating the threat of WMDs to justify "Operation Arrakis Freedom," the March 20 Harkonnen-led invasion of the desert planet. "We were told that an attack on the Empire by worm-riding Fremen was imminent," said Duke Yoshihide of House Radding. "If that was the case, Baron Harkonnen, then I ask: where are the WMDs?" Others have been more blunt in their criticism. "I think it's clear now that this was all about the spice," said Duchess Asplund, who has also called for an investigation into lucrative contracts Harkonnen awarded the Spacing Guild following the war. In addition to the question of WMDs, the Harkonnen administration has also been under fire because of continued attacks on Imperial forces by the Bene Gesserit, and because Paul "Maud'dib" Atreides -- the Fremen leader and "Ace of Spades" in the "Arrakis Most Wanted" playing-card deck -- remains at large.

Posted on June 10, 2003 to News





Comments

This may well be my geekiest post to date.

Posted by: Matthew on June 10, 2003 10:49 AM

Let there be no doubt of that.

Posted by: ColdForged on June 10, 2003 11:00 AM

Brilliant.

Posted by: AJ on June 10, 2003 11:13 AM

water...water...water....

Posted by: Laurie on June 10, 2003 11:30 AM

NO BLOOD FOR SPICE!!!

Posted by: Anonymous on June 10, 2003 11:43 AM

George W. Bush: plans within plans within plans...

I have trouble with that.

Posted by: jdodd on June 10, 2003 11:57 AM

Oh, man. That is just priceless. It's even funnier when you imagine dubya in an inflatable suit and bouncing around the oval office.

Posted by: Daniel Kibler on June 10, 2003 12:04 PM

You mean he doesn't?

Posted by: Mike on June 10, 2003 12:10 PM

I was wondering what the administration was dune about this public-relations disaster.

Posted by: Beerzie Boy on June 10, 2003 12:17 PM

LET ME TAKE HIS WATER MUAD'DIB!!

Posted by: Stilgar on June 10, 2003 12:39 PM

That was good. :)

Posted by: Scott on June 10, 2003 1:08 PM

Very very funny...and what a coincidence. Don't sell yourself so short...you've had plenty of geeky posts...plenty...some would say loads.

Posted by: agraham on June 10, 2003 1:25 PM

An acquaintance of mine points this.

Posted by: Fred on June 10, 2003 6:02 PM

i will say it once again...never get involved in a land war in asia...

Posted by: Vizzini on June 10, 2003 7:23 PM

Just remember...fear is the mind killer. Or was it a bullet to the head? I forget.

Posted by: agraham on June 10, 2003 9:27 PM

SPIIIIIICE!

Posted by: Windopaene on June 11, 2003 8:19 AM

To be even more geeky, I'll correct your
spelling. It is 'Fremen' although a Google
search on 'arrakis dune freman' shows 119
people make the same mistake.

Posted by: Aaron on June 11, 2003 9:27 AM

i harbor my worms of mass destruction in my cat's butt.

Posted by: griff on June 11, 2003 10:32 AM

Yep. Pretty geeky. A Toto reference probably would have drawn the line for me, but I like it.

Posted by: Stephanie on June 11, 2003 11:07 AM

Wow, I don't know which of us is the bigger geek...you for writing this post, or me for actually getting it...

Posted by: Erin on June 12, 2003 7:45 PM

Excellent!! Absolutely perfect. Yeah, you *do* have to wonder about those of us who get it.

Posted by: Chari on June 13, 2003 10:28 AM

I'd like a side of worms of mass destruction to go, you know, for fishing later.

Posted by: Kate S. on June 13, 2003 12:17 PM

Just a little rant. Comparing Shaddam to Paul Atreides? That is a bit rich. Second of all: the Atreides possesed and used weapons of mass-destruction (they blast through the wall, circumvention the restriction that nukes were not to be used against other houses). It was a very funny post, and I am a geek for getting it, but the analogy is false.

Posted by: Xarius on June 20, 2003 11:54 AM

Xarius... dude... take 2 steps back. ;)

Besides: the comparison is between W and Harkonnen.

unless of course you meant to say "saddam" vs. paul atreides, in which case you are correct in the analogy, but still wrong about the primary target of this spoof.

Posted by: Mike C on June 25, 2003 9:06 PM

It's not all that geeky, really. I mean, when it comes to SciFi fans the "Dune" series is fairly mainstream. The SciFi channel is still making new movies from it, and the successors to Mr. Herbert are writing new books in the universe. I would wonder more about those of us who *didn't* get it. Or, sorry, are we all supposed to be 12 year olds who don't read scifi?

Posted by: Trent on July 14, 2003 6:57 AM