Anything Else: "Wretched, condescending, and sad, like watching an elderly man spend more than 100 minutes tapping his arm for a youth vein he never finds." -- Wesley Morris, BOSTON GLOBE

Jeeper Creeps: "It's not often a movie makes you yearn for the energy and half-baked artistry of Freddy vs. Jason, but there you have it." -- Paul West, SEATTLE P-I

Good Boy!: "Except for an endless drum roll of fart jokes, what we get is stuffy liberal humanism that would bore the Oshkoshes off Al Gore's littlest nieces and nephews." -- Stephen Cole, THE GLOBE AND MAIL

Underworld: "Not since Battlefield Earth pitted overacting, nine-foot-tall Psychlos against puny man-animals has there been an interspecies match-up this perversely uninteresting." -- Nathan Rabin, THE ONION

Cold Creek Manor: "About as thrilling as cleaning out your garage." -- Marc Savlov, AUSTIN CHRONICLE