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When Husbands Attack

Driving to the store.

Me: Here's the list. Do we need anything else?

The Queen: We need more vegetables. I need to start putting more vegetables in my lunch.

M: Okay.

Q: I always eat my lunch last.

M: You always ...? Last after what?

Q: After everything else.

M: What else do you eat during the day?

Q: My sandwich, my yogurt, my fruit -- the rest of my lunch. [Exasperated] Why don't you listen to me?!

M: I did listen to you. You said "I eat my lunch last" and I had no idea what you meant.

Q: Didn't I say "I eat the vegetables in my lunch last?"

M: No.

Q: Oh.

[Pause]

Q: Why are you attacking me?!

Three months of pregnancy to go, folks.

Posted on October 20, 2003 to The Queen