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Recent changes to NPR in the wake of Mrs. McDonalds' $200 million bequest:

  • Morning Edition constantly urging listeners not to drop scalding hot coffee into lap while driving.
  • Daniel Schorr's political commentaries frequently laud policies of Mayor McCheese.
  • World Cafe proud to carry Coca-Cola brand beverages.
  • Latest listener challenge from Puzzlemaster Will Shortz: "Try to explain, in 2000 words or less, why Burger King sucks so hard."
  • On-air All Thing Considered personalities required to wear nametags.
  • Car Talk guys attribute most automotive problems to lack of sufficient cupholders.
  • Listeners pledging at the $100 level receive Monopoly Sweepstakes game piece; those donating at the $250 level receive collectible Looney Toons: Back In Action 64 oz. plastic cup.
  • Everything on The Splendid Table fried in beef tallow.
  • Garrison Keillor's Prairie Home Companion monologues now just go "robble robble robble."
  • This American Cheese.

Posted on November 12, 2003 to Humor


I'm sure each and every one of these jokes has been made somewhere else already. But gimmie a break -- I was on vacation.

Inspired by The Easterblogg.

Posted by: Matthew on November 12, 2003 10:50 AM

Garrison Keliilor's Prairie Home Companion monologues now just go "robble robble robble."

And this would be different because...

Posted by: Nick on November 12, 2003 11:08 AM

That would be "Robble {pause} Robble {breathy sigh} Robble {audible exhale}" wouldn't it?

Can't help taking a jab at that guy.

Posted by: Honest Abe on November 12, 2003 11:26 AM

c'mon, garrison keillor isn't so bad. better than car talk, certainly.

Posted by: zach on November 12, 2003 11:30 AM

Oh, c'mon...Click and Clack are great. I even get the Puzzler by email every week.

Posted by: spygeek on November 12, 2003 12:04 PM

Noam Chomsky holds forth on Alternative Radio about the entwined business histories of the Bush family and the Hamburgler.

Posted by: Jeannie on November 12, 2003 12:30 PM

I'll bet the execs over at Public Radio International (PRI) are kicking themselves for spending all that time hanging out with Dave Thomas now, huh?

Posted by: Dugrless on November 12, 2003 12:47 PM

By the way, did any of you catch the series Susan Stamberg's doing on ATC called "Vegans: Why don't they shut the hell up?"

Posted by: Dugrless on November 12, 2003 12:50 PM

I'd never heard of Splendid Table before now. Should I lobby my local affiliate to carry it?

I'll bet Dish kicks its butt, though. (Even after cancellation.)

Posted by: Josh on November 12, 2003 12:56 PM

Nice kicks yeti. I will be back.

Posted by: gooseneck on November 12, 2003 3:27 PM

Speaking of Prairie Home Companion, is anyone else sick unto death of that guy who does the mouth noise sound effects? Or Bertha's Kitty Boutique? I used to adore this show. But I like to think there was more of the real world in it in the old days. Now it's just feelgood stuff and kitty meows.

But then again, I am just a grump.

Posted by: Paul Woodford on November 12, 2003 4:52 PM

Mmmmm. Beef tallow.

Who knows? These changes might be something of an improvement.

Posted by: Miel on November 12, 2003 8:11 PM

It's nice to know that all the money i've spend on happy meals is going to a good cause

Posted by: chris on November 13, 2003 7:22 AM

Fresh Air with Terry Gross is changed to Fresh Fries with Terry McGross.

Posted by: kungfukitten on November 13, 2003 11:41 AM

As of tomorrow the Egg McMorning Edition can now be supersized.

Posted by: Duane on November 13, 2003 4:03 PM

I'm Bob "Big 'n' Tasty" Edwards, and this is Morning Edition.

Posted by: wolfdog on November 14, 2003 3:53 AM

"...and even though listeners everywhere crave a Big Mac whenever they hear us say it, this is NPR..."

Posted by: wolfdog on November 14, 2003 4:29 AM

Has your fam'ly tried McDonald's fries?
Oh, has your fam'ly tried McDonald's fries?
Oh, if your family's tried 'em then you know you've satisfied 'em..

Posted by: wolfdog on November 14, 2003 5:18 PM

i know this is going to come off as pedantic, but some of the shows your mention are actually distributed by PRI and not NPR.

Posted by: ponycry on November 21, 2003 12:08 AM