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The Squirrelly had his two-month check-up today. (I know! Two months! It seems like only yesterday he was 59 days old...) He's as healthy as a, uh, healthy as a hornet's nest, or whatever the cliché is. Healthy as a horse? Whatever.

We estimated that he'd be in, like, the 130th percentile, weight-wise. We figure this for the cats, too -- the other critters we habitually carry around the house. As it turns out, he's 11 pounds, 4 ounces, which puts him in the 50th percentile for weight. He's also 23.3 inches long, which puts him in the 50th percentile for length.

I don't want to boast, but do you know what the odds are of hitting both 50 percentiles? One in a hundred times one in a hundred equals one chance in a ten thousand, baby.

My child is not average. My child is extraordinarily average.

Posted on April 22, 2004 to The Squirrelly


That's some cute squirrely you got there!

Posted by: Lara on April 23, 2004 4:24 PM

No offense to the Queen, but I see a bit of the Yeti coming out in him. And my motto for years has been "extraordinarily average".

Posted by: Duane on April 23, 2004 5:37 PM

What a cute little fella he is!!

Posted by: Barb on April 23, 2004 5:57 PM

Not just one in a thousand, but one in ten thousand!

Posted by: Andy on April 23, 2004 8:27 PM

Oh yeah? Well, mine had a really big head.

Posted by: melly on April 23, 2004 8:37 PM

D'oh -- it is ten thousand. Yes sir, that bachelor of science is really workin' out for me ...

Posted by: Matthew on April 23, 2004 9:10 PM

Hey, someone needs to be the lynchpin of the middle of the road, may as well be the squirrelly!

Posted by: mr. grooism on April 23, 2004 9:17 PM

I'm impressed! I love the use of percentiles for babies--one of the few times someone can gloat (absurdly) because they weigh a lot.

My baby was huge at birth and I sort of cringed a little at people's exclamations: "Wow! Our baby is a month old and doesn't weigh that much!" Etc.(Mainly because it reminded me of how much I ate my last trimester.) But now that we're in percentiles I just pretend my baby is above average--more is better.

I LOVE the picture where his eyes are so big. He's adorable! Please keep posting those photos.

Posted by: Miel on April 23, 2004 9:31 PM

After thinking about this for, like, five whole minutes, I feel the need to post. At his two month check-up, wouldn't the day before have felt like 59 days?

Posted by: John on April 24, 2004 3:32 AM

Apparently it's time for me to bite the bullet and buy a calculator.

Posted by: Matthew on April 24, 2004 7:20 AM

Squirrelly may be extraordinarily average but in my book he is the Perfect Yeti!

Posted by: Squirrelly's grandma on April 24, 2004 7:23 AM

Awwwwwwwww. I think the word you are looking for here is "ka-oot!" Except for that one on the bottom left--large eyes with red centres? That's more possessed. But, you know, in a cute sort of way.

Posted by: Jaclyn on April 24, 2004 9:05 AM

He looks a bit like yoda. Add the ears and make the skin green and he's there.

Posted by: Glen Murie on April 24, 2004 3:51 PM

That means that he could probably take on 50 out of 100 other babies in a baby fight.

Posted by: Adam on April 24, 2004 7:34 PM

Squirrelly is cuuuuute.

My son was 11 pounds at birth and was 24 inches tall...a normal birth to normal sized parents, but the largest baby ever delivered at the Torrejon Air Base hospital (at least back in 1976). Our first child wieghed in at 10 pounds and 24 inches so I quit after two....

Posted by: Ginny on April 25, 2004 12:33 PM

**Pedantry alert***
Never really understood any of this, but aren't those odds of 1/10000 only valid if the two things (weight and length) are independent of each other?

Posted by: Alan on April 26, 2004 12:52 AM

He is adorable. :-)

Our daughter is (or was, last we were at the ped) in the 25th percentile for height. The ped tried to reassure me that with: "hey, at least there are four babies that are shorter than her out there". I'm not worried, it just means she takes after me in height. :)

Posted by: misty on April 26, 2004 5:24 AM

Ummmm... I weighed 11lbs 4oz. when I was born! In my books, he's waaaay behind. However, in my mother's books, I suspect I am the spawn of Satan and he would be an angel.

Actually, I gotta agree, puny, but cute as hell.

David :)

Posted by: David on April 26, 2004 7:36 AM

I once had to have an ultrasound on my ovaries, and the report came back saying they were "grossly normal in appearance."

Posted by: Shannon on April 26, 2004 7:50 AM

He is also extraordinarily beautiful! Or, um, is it OK to say beautiful for a by? I think so - especially in this case. I love the smile picture. He's already ahead of the curve - they usually don't start smiling until 3 months. A sure sign of intelligence. :)

Posted by: Susan on April 28, 2004 5:35 AM

Congrats on the sprog, i reckon all babies look like winston Churchill

Posted by: the prisoner on April 30, 2004 12:52 AM

Hey Matthew. Congratulations on the baby. I've been reading your site for a few months now and I just wanted to say, "You crack me up, dude." I check in maybe once a week or so, but I can always count on a good laugh.

Good luck with the squirrely. Just wait 'til he gets mobile.

Posted by: Steve on April 30, 2004 8:37 PM

Just wait 'til he gets mobile.

No kidding. My son just came back from California with a white wolf. He's threatening to breed her with a Samoyed and give me one of the pups.

Posted by: triticale on May 3, 2004 8:39 AM

Please excuse a completely childless ignoramus, but what is this 'percentile' thing, and how do they figure it out?

Posted by: sibyl on May 5, 2004 7:50 AM

Sibyl — it's like normal percents, but with small ceramic squares from your bathroom.

Seriously, though: http://www.webster.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=percentile

Posted by: H. Monkey on May 6, 2004 12:58 PM