I talk to another new father:

Me: Does your daughter have, like, a security blanket?

B: She has a stuffed animal she carries around. Why?

M: I read that kids at this age will become attached to a "security' something-or-other. But The Squirrelly hasn't really taken to anything.

B: That's probably for the best. When I was a little kid my parents had to take my blanket away.

M: They took away your security blanket? No wonder you are so screwed up.

B: They were trying to get me to stop sucking my thumb, and I only did it when I was carrying my security blanket. So, one night, the blanket disappeared ...

M: I'm sure your folks sent it to a beautiful farm, some place where it could roam free.

B: ... and when I woke up there was a note that said that it had been taken by the Blanket Fairy.

M: ?? The "Blanket Fairy?"

B: You know, like the Tooth Fairy? He took the blanket and left fifty cents. And after that I didn't suck my thumb any more, so I guess it worked.

M: It's a good thing, too. If it hadn't you would have woken up one morning to find yourself with eight fingers and a buck in change from the Thumb Fairy.

{ Laughter }

B: [Little kid's voice] "Whaa! I can't even pick up the quarters!!"