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Cell Shock

We bought some refrigerator magnets for The Squirrelly. They required batteries. I'm not kidding.

Modern parenting is often dumb.

Update: Okay, I have to grudgingly admit that this Fridge Farm Magnetic Animal Set is kinda cool. The batteries go into a big barn that has a rectangular area in the middle of it; the other magnets are animal halves. So if you put a sheep's forequarters and a pig's hindquarters into the barn, for example, it will play a song about how you made a "Sheeppig."

It's like a training kit for future genetic engineers. Maybe if The Squirrelly plays with this enough, he will someday figure out how to splice together cows, tomatoes, mustard seeds and pickles, and invent the holy grail of the fast-food industry: the pre-condimentimized burger. Hell, if he can figure out how to work some potato and cola bean genes in there, he might make an animal that can produce an entire Wendy's combo meal. Then he winds up a bajillionaire and The Queen and I ride the gravy train into retirement. Or, at the very least, he pays us back the fifteen bucks we paid for these stupid magnets.

Posted on April 14, 2005 to The Squirrelly


"...if you put a sheep's forequarters and a pig's hindquarters into the barn, for example, it will play a song about how you made a "Sheep-cow."

So its main purpose is to confuse the poor kid about what all those animals are actually called?

Posted by: Tiger Spot on April 17, 2005 10:19 AM

Whoops! No, my bad. I corrected that.

Posted by: Matthew Baldwin on April 17, 2005 10:23 AM

BTW, the kola nut isn't a bean, it's a ... well, nut.

Posted by: Phill on April 17, 2005 3:19 PM

Hey Matt, we have the Leapfrog Fridge Phonics (son is -15.5 years old). If you are ever in the mood to spend 15USD for a magnet again, I recommend it. Has a catchy refrain. :)

Posted by: Dan Isaacs on April 17, 2005 3:53 PM

dude. oryx and crake: "you made a rakunk! you made a pigoon!"

"you created a future iteration of the human race by mixing and matching genes and traits from every phylum of extant life!"

Posted by: regan on April 17, 2005 5:39 PM

Wouldn't a sheep + pig be a sheig? Sheeppig just sounds like some was too lazy to make a proper contraction.

Posted by: Jonas Rabbe on April 18, 2005 7:55 AM

Yep, we have that same toy on our 'fridge. Leapfrog makes it, right? With the little frog cleverly named Tad who sings "my first redneck" versions of nursery rhymes on his little banjo? The sad part is that I catch myself saying "You put a Cow in front you put a Pig behind, you put them together... and what do you find? Mommy???!!! That's silly!" Then I don't remember too much.

Posted by: JasnTMason on April 18, 2005 8:48 AM

Yep. We have a friend who got that for her 2-yr-old. She loves it. At first though, she really just loved mashing the magnets into the barn space with little regard for the combination.

Then she went through a phase of putting the proper fronts and rears together.

Her older brother totally digs the LeapFrog Fridge Phonics we bought him two Christmases ago. It kinda violated the "no noisy toys as gifts, else you'll reap what you sow" but his mom asked us to get it.

I figure in a few years, we'll be getting them as Xmas gifts since they're so cool...


Posted by: kevin on April 18, 2005 11:19 AM

We bought the same thing for our son, Lumpy. He loves it. The only problem is every time I open or close the refridgerator (or re-fridge-for-later as our daughter Bombaloo calls it) the dang thing starts playing its music! Oh well.

Posted by: Homer on April 18, 2005 3:02 PM

Is it wrong that I'm childless and 34 and I STILL think that's possibly the coolest thing EVER and I totally want to run out and get one??

Posted by: gladys on April 18, 2005 6:38 PM

You put a sheep in front
You put a pig behind
Put the together
and what do you find?

A sheeppig?

That's silly!

Soon this toy's song will work its way into your everyday life. You'll be riding the bus to work, and you'll see a truck behind you, and start thinking "You put a bus in front, you put a truck behind, put them together, and what do you find... a bustruck! That's silly." Any single pair of sequential items will kick off this song in your head. It will drive you nuts.

About the time it wears off, Squirrelly will figure out how to turn the volume switch from Low to High.

Posted by: Jon B on April 19, 2005 6:01 PM

The Amazon review says it comes with a "Farmer Tad" character. I believe Farmer Tad was invented by Seattle grunge legend Tad Doyle (of TAD) on the "What're You Talkin' 'Bout Sherman?!" public access game show (circa 1998) - specifically "The Seventh Episode Anniversary Episode," wherein Mr. Doyle discussed the downward trajectory of his career after appearing on (and losing) the Wm. Stephen Humphrey(TM)-hosted game show in the episode four "Tournament of Rock and Roll Champions." His theme song for the subsequent failed children's show pilot, titled "The Farmer Tad and Crispy the Bird Show" went: "Farmer Tad/Farmer Tad/Farmer Tad/and Crispy the Bird." Does this indicate corporate theft of intellectual property? Perhaps Mr. Doyle can sue them 8-Way Santa style.

Posted by: Ginger on April 28, 2005 6:55 AM