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Oh My God, It's Full Of Stars

The new Google Earth application lets you zoom in on any place in the world, and then overlay the satellite image with the locations of commonly-searched for establishments, such as grocery stores, bars, and schools.

On an online forum I frequent, someone posted this Google Earth map:

That's pretty amazing but, frankly, I find this even more telling.

Posted on July 13, 2005 to Seattle


Scary *and* amusing, all at once!

Posted by: Esther on July 14, 2005 12:10 PM

Buy a star tatoo and get a GPS chip implant for free! (Next government subsidy)

Posted by: Scott on July 14, 2005 1:12 PM

Why is there a dentist's office on the coffeeshop map (twice)?

Posted by: Doug Orleans on July 14, 2005 1:50 PM

First, I want to tell Doug that you can find a barista anywhere in Washington...even the dentist's office.

How funny is this! I want to see the map of chicks with butterflies. Both maps have had me chuckling all day so far!!

Posted by: Karan on July 14, 2005 2:15 PM

Hey, can you run a google map over Brooklyn to track "hipster guy wearing a trucker hat"? or how about over Manhattan looking for "neurotic compulsive"?

AIn't modern technology grand?

Posted by: MetroDad on July 14, 2005 2:23 PM

I think they assume that people vain enough to need to know where all of the coffee shops are, are going to need some teeth whitening, Doug.

Posted by: Mike on July 14, 2005 3:43 PM

Halarious! Just when I thought that Google put out something useful, you make a joke out of it. Nice work!

Posted by: Thomas on July 14, 2005 8:03 PM

I'm so unhip, I have no idea what the significance of a star tattoo is.

Posted by: Peter on July 14, 2005 11:02 PM

We only have two starbucks in Nuremberg, the second just now being built. So more space on the map left :-)

Posted by: Konrad on July 15, 2005 2:19 AM

I have a tatoo and I'm not on the map!

Posted by: barb on July 15, 2005 9:43 AM

well crap. i have had a star tattoo for ages and now i'm a "hipster." i just hate that now i am in the company of people like lindsay lohan and ashlee simpson who has them as well. *kills self*

Posted by: liv on July 15, 2005 9:59 AM

Down in So-Cal all the bleach blonde, quad owning, lowered white-truck driving, pop-punk listening kids have nautical star tattoo. Makes me sick. I want my subculture back.

Posted by: Megan on July 15, 2005 10:51 AM

Good point Peter. Perhaps someone will start a blog for we the pop-culturally challenged and explain the significance of star tattoos, index & little finger hand signs versus thumb & little finger hand signs, the sudden preponderance of plastic colored bracelets and any late-breaking coolness. That said, please give it an RSS feed.

Posted by: Sooo Confused.. on July 16, 2005 8:10 AM

My god - don't you people ever do any work?

Besides wait in coffee shops, I mean?

I bet there isn't a single crash repairers on that map.

Posted by: david Tiley on July 17, 2005 5:26 AM

ps - we in Australia were once a British colony and did not escape so we don't understand about teeth whitening.

Can you tell someone's availability by their blinding choppers because
a) they have someone who gives them money so they can afford to do their teeth or
b) they are desperate for attention and don't want anyone to fantasise about putting their tongues into some ikky place where germs are farting into tunnels in decayed ivory?

Maybe there is a c) which I can't possibly imagine.

Posted by: david Tiley on July 17, 2005 5:32 AM

There are not nearly enough cafes listed in that first picture. It's WAY more than that. Most highrise buildings have AT LEAST one Starbucks inside the lobby, if not two or three.

Posted by: dayment on July 17, 2005 1:04 PM

"well crap. i have had a star tattoo for ages and now i'm a "hipster." i just hate that now i am in the company of people like lindsay lohan and ashlee simpson who has them as well. *kills self*"

Me too, Liv. I am embracing my hipster status, even though it's mostly accidental.

I AM A HIPSTER! Now, where's my assigned white belt?

Posted by: Emily on July 18, 2005 6:24 AM

Yeah I think i'm the only guy in Seattle (who works for Starbucks by the way) who doesn't drink coffee, have a tattoo or weigh under 180 pounds.

Posted by: Mr. P on July 18, 2005 11:07 AM

I swear that Toronto looks like that too with the coffee shops.

Posted by: MainlineMom on July 18, 2005 1:35 PM

Well, not only are this missing some coffeeshops (there's at least 4 near the uptown expresso and bakery) on that map but I can't believe I've got all these tattoos but not one star tattoo!

Posted by: leech on July 18, 2005 4:16 PM

Dr. Seuss can tell us all about the significance of stars. See "The Sneeches and other stories", http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0394800893 .

And the star-bellied sneeches had stars upon thars.

I also recommend the tale of the pale green pants with no one inside them.

And who said parenthood was useless?

Posted by: Amazon escapee on July 18, 2005 6:46 PM


I'm in Oregon and am wondering about the Birkenstock density.

Posted by: Wende on July 19, 2005 8:27 PM

It's missing the Starbucks that I work at... I think... maybe... or possibly the one across the street.

Posted by: Cameron on July 23, 2005 3:23 PM

haha! I like how you inserted Infant with star tattoo.

Posted by: shabadoo on August 1, 2005 2:49 AM