The Legend of Zorro: "Not only stupid and boring but -- ta-da! -- also really long!" -- Stephen Hunter, WASHINGTON POST

Rent: "Commodified faux bohemia on a platter, eliciting the same kind of numbing soul-sadness as children's beauty pageants, tiny dogs in expensive boots, and Mahatma Gandhi in Apple ads" -- Carina Chocano, LOS ANGELES TIMES

Saw II: "I'd rather try standing drunk on a see-saw than see Saw." -- Mike Clark, USA TODAY

Derailed: "Semi-alert Owen and the leaden Aniston go together like sausages and syrup." (I have no idea what that means, but apparently it's negative.) -- Lawrence Toppman, Charlotte Observer

Doom: "Like visiting Vegas and never leaving your hotel room." -- Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

Get Rich Or Die Tryin': "It ain't rich. It's just tryin'." -- Ann Hornaday, WASHINGTON POST