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Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers 2005

My annual Holiday Survival Guide For Slackers appears today in The Morning News. Please go read it and guffaw somewhere in a vicinity of four or five times.

Thanks to the many people who sent in suggestions, especially to Ryan (gold-plated slinky), Mel (NASCAR Crockpot), Adam (iAttire), Mike (Pretender Call Breaker), remlapm (Flip Flap), and machaus (Vomito de Gato sign).

Posted on December 22, 2005 to Elsewhere





Comments

Cuidado! Vomito de Gato!

I am still laughing, and hopefully so is everyone I know.

Posted by: Michelle on December 22, 2005 1:46 PM

Cuidado! I am DEFINITELY ordering one.

Thankfully, my cats rarely yakk up a slimy mess. But it's good to be prepared.

Posted by: Keith on December 22, 2005 2:06 PM

Ooooh, I want the Ann Coulter doll. Along with an Abu Ghraib playset. Oh, the fun Ann and I could have together.

Posted by: Ella on December 22, 2005 2:13 PM

Definitely funny ha-ha.

Posted by: Thomas on December 22, 2005 3:14 PM

They can call us Aaron Burr for the way we're droppin' Hamiltons!

Posted by: john on December 22, 2005 3:54 PM

after I thoughtfully gave them all Hitachi Magic Wands to use in their Harry Potter playacting.

you are fantastic.

Posted by: some girl on December 22, 2005 6:27 PM

You should be featuring the Kasey Kahne crockpot! He is orginally from Enumclaw.

http://www.crockpotcraze.com/contentmgr/showdetails.php/id/82

Posted by: Mister Charlie on December 22, 2005 6:42 PM

Cuidado! Vomito de Gato! translated by Babel Fish:

"Taken care of! I vomit of Cat!"

Posted by: Pierre on December 23, 2005 1:21 AM

Does that ipod cowboy outfit not look more like the outfit that the silver tongue of Hans Sprungfeld is dressed in by the antiquarian to hide it in the Simpsons "Lisa the iconoclast" Just saying.

This http://www.dvd.net.au/movies/t/09352-3.jpg

Posted by: Stuart on December 23, 2005 11:03 AM

Alas, the Anne Coulter dolls are sold out and won't be available until next year. I wanted to stage a grudge-match between Anne Coulter and my Xena Warrior Princess dolly.

I did note, however, that while there are a number of talking dolls on the website, neither the "Top Gun" nor the "Turkey Dinner" George W. Bush dolls speak. Now there's a missed opportunity...

Posted by: Alkelda on December 24, 2005 9:53 AM

Great suggestions all.

I laughed so hard at Vomito de Gato that I sent the link to all my relatives. My mom was offended, which somehow makes it even more hilarious. I got a "I never thought I'd see the day..." email in reply.

Posted by: Sue on December 26, 2005 10:27 AM

I only GUFFAWED 3 times. I want my money back....oh...nevermind.

Posted by: Brodie on December 27, 2005 9:53 AM

I just showed my husband the NASCAR crockpot. He said, and I quote, "I had one of those once. I had to throw it away because it cooked stuff too fast."

Saw your blog in Seattle Magazine. Neat-o.

Posted by: Beth on December 28, 2005 11:08 AM

I liked the 10 Dalla' Xtreme gift card the best.

"seeling Sneering Indifference by the gross"

CLASSIC!

I give that a hearty BWAAHAA!

Posted by: SteveB on December 28, 2005 4:48 PM

The flip flap is a little solar powered plastic plant which moves slightly when you put it near a light source. A friend of mine got one for Christmas.

Posted by: Kevin on December 28, 2005 11:23 PM