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As incredible as it may sound, I have been writing defective yeti for five years now. Five years of conversations and great ideas. Five years of stories and tomfoolery. Five years of tales about The Queen and The Squirrelly. Five years of book, film, and game reviews. Five years of humorous observations about yogurt.

I've learned a lot in that time -- about blogging, about the Internet, and even a little about myself. And what better time than the fifth anniversary of this site to impart my hard-earned knowledge to you, the loyal defective yeti readership?

It all began on a cold, crisp winter afternoon, January 10, 2002. Blogging was still a nascent technology at the time, something most people had never even heard of, but I've always been something of a trailblazer. I vividly recall the moment when I conceived of the content for my first post. I had just finished a novel by Proust and was sitting in my den sipping shiraz, when the most extraordinary --

Wait, hang on. 2002 to 2003, that's one. 2003 to 2004 is two. 2004 to 2005, 2005 to 2006 ... uh ...

Okay, I guess it's only been four years. Jesus, for real? It feels like for-freakin'-ever. 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 -- shit, yeah: four years. Ah man, that totally sucks.

I had this whole "commemorative fifth year anniversary post" planned out in my head and everything. Now I'll only get to use it if I blog for a whole 'nother year. GodDAMNIT!

Posted on January 10, 2006 to dy


very nice. well, happy fourth. here's to a whole 'nother year.

Posted by: Tom on January 11, 2006 11:12 AM

If you want, we can pretend that it's been five years...

We're still waiting for your secondary blog. ...the one about your yogurt observations.

Posted by: Kelly on January 11, 2006 11:50 AM

I'd totally include the years you spent writing the Aces Up ezine in your total. It's all about padding the resume.

Hell, I count every funny e-mail I've ever forwarded as a blog hit. I'm at 52,000+ by now. Watch out Instapundit!

Posted by: Duane on January 11, 2006 12:07 PM

Four years is nothing to sneeze at. Mazel tov, defective yeti.

Posted by: Alkelda on January 11, 2006 12:18 PM

awwww...don't be tho thad, widdle boy..

Posted by: diana on January 11, 2006 12:41 PM

My husband once wrote an entire song about how somebody left the butter out. I believe it was even called "Somebody left the butter out". It was like a commercial jingle extolling the virtues of spreadable butter.
What is it with you guys and the butter?

Posted by: el on January 11, 2006 1:06 PM

Long time listener, first time caller. Congratulations!

Posted by: Tom Harpel on January 11, 2006 1:21 PM

1) I had neighbors growing up who left their butter in the cupboard. Needless to say, it was never hard to spread.
2) Where the heck did the dy name come from?

Posted by: stan on January 11, 2006 2:01 PM

Wow, dy is only a year older than Soylent Red. Not even that, only 362 days. I wonder if I can whip my own blog into something even mildly entertaining by this time next year? Or I could just wait out the year posting the usual dreck until I read your hot tips in the real "commemorative fifth year anniversary post" and then just steal your key to successful blogging. Yeah, that's what I should do.

Posted by: Rory Parle on January 11, 2006 3:04 PM


Posted by: Davey on January 11, 2006 5:00 PM

we'll wait for 5

Posted by: oldguy on January 11, 2006 5:06 PM

Wait...that doesn't make any sense to me because I started my site before I got married and you were the first person I read and you must have been writing for quite a while...before I got married...which was ??? Um, 2002. I think. Yeah! 2002! 2003 was the summer of nothing and 2004 was the summer of baby.

2002? Crazy! How could you have been so good right away?

Anyway--this site RAWKS! HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY. DY has made me laugh so hard. The Careless Bands didn't just made me laugh they made me snort in a horrifying way, as did many other things.

And I love your wife--she is the uberwife. I bow down before her wit. And Squirrely is amazing too.

Please keep this site going for AT LEAST 4 more.

Posted by: miel on January 11, 2006 5:27 PM

How is the butter thing not in Tricks of the Trade under, I dunno, Toast Cook or something? That's genius.

And congrats on your IVth, or maybe IIIIth, anniversary.

Posted by: Mark on January 11, 2006 5:46 PM

I have this same problem with remembering the count of my anniversary. Also: shoot, January? I fired up in March of that year! I thought you were, you know, some WELL guy or something!

Posted by: mike on January 11, 2006 6:36 PM

Well, I like you anyway. Better luck next time.

Posted by: Jennifer on January 11, 2006 8:54 PM

The French leave there butter out all the time, and they're good with the food, those French.

Happy Blogiversary, and, as too many blogs lately have posted a So Long and Thanks for All the Fish post that ended with the demise of a good blog, I was very relieved to see your commemorative post end with an excuse to keep going at least one more year.

Posted by: Holley on January 12, 2006 3:47 AM

I had the same problem a month or so ago. My husband and I were married in 2002 and I mistakenly thought this February was our 5th anniversary. He corrected me. So, I told him he had over a year to plan a really great anniversary gift for me.

Posted by: Alana on January 12, 2006 5:15 AM

No what's weird? I started blogging on the same day you did. I even wrote a post about it before I came of to check in on you.

Happy blogiversary.

(And thanks again for all those game ideas at Xmas. Lost Cities is great.)

Posted by: Jon on January 12, 2006 5:17 AM

Heh, long time fan here. I got a bit creeped out in your first two paragraphs, as the *meaningful music* started to play in the background... then, of course, you came through as you always do in the classic Yeti style. You just don't miss a beat - keep it up!!!

Posted by: Mags on January 12, 2006 6:40 AM

that's the only way i can count anything, by the spaces in between. Otherwise i always end up with one extra. I always thought it was a learning disability...

Posted by: leah on January 12, 2006 6:41 AM

I was reading and going -No, if I started in '03 he CAN't have been 5 years since '02!

Then did the same count.

I do it so often to remember how log it is since I started secretarial work, or since I broke up with J., or since I quit my long-time job...

Ha! Just started reading you a month ago, so I only missed out on 4, not 5 years!


Posted by: Okok on January 12, 2006 7:42 AM

Happy Anniversary!!!

Posted by: Used Hack on January 12, 2006 8:19 AM

I'm the last person in the world to be giving math tips, since I can barely add, but this is how I calculate my age when I forget it (somehow I never forget my birthday or birth year, but I occasionally forget how old I am). Take the current year, subtract the starting/birth yeah, et voila. So 2006 - 2002 = 4. WAAAY quicker than counting steps.

Posted by: Deadlytoque on January 12, 2006 9:39 AM

just leave the butter out. it won't go bad for weeks.

Posted by: cleek on January 12, 2006 12:35 PM

the current year, subtract the starting/birth yeah, et voila. So 2006 - 2002 = 4.

but only if you've already had your birthday in the current year. otherwise, you need to subtract one.

2006 - 1970 = 36, but i'm only 35. my bday's in september.

Posted by: cleek on January 12, 2006 12:38 PM

Happy Blogiversary. I'm impressed by 4 years, mine has been going nearly 2 weeks. Now seems as good a time as any to delurk and admit that you were part of the inspiration for starting my own blog, although I could never hope to achieve such dizzying heights as you have. Thanks.

Posted by: Katharine on January 12, 2006 3:38 PM

4 years... I would like to complete 4 pages! I'm a new reader of yours and find it inspiring that anyone could keep up the quality so long, thanks for the day brightener, so long.

Posted by: Hatrick on January 12, 2006 5:45 PM

Seems like 5 years to me and I've only been reading you for about a year. Seems like 5 years in a dentist's chair with no novocaine...

Gaahhh! After reading through the comments above... your readers are all so sickeningly nice with all this fatuous twaddle. The DY needs an occasional dope slap. Come on people.

Posted by: A. Masochist on January 12, 2006 9:25 PM

Cleek: Oh... yeah. My birthday is in the first week of January, so that's never been a problem for me. Sigh. Just one more piece of evidence as to how utterly useless I am at math!

Good thing I'm in law school, then, I suppose.

Posted by: Deadlytoque on January 13, 2006 5:05 AM

But if you've just passed your fourth anniversary, you are now entering your fifth year.

Happy fifth year!

Posted by: Richard Loxley on January 13, 2006 9:10 AM

You need a french butter dish. My mom has one, it's great. Since everyone is talking about leaving butter out and stuff. http://itotd.com/articles/215/

Posted by: Anne on January 13, 2006 11:35 AM

There IS such a thing as spreadable butter you know. But maybe it just wasn't around four years ago.

I love your Matthew! -waves-

Posted by: Jay on January 13, 2006 8:36 PM

Four is nice too. Unless of course you are in Japan. Then it's an omen of death.

Does that help make rainy Seattle look any better?

Posted by: Kristy on January 14, 2006 10:31 AM

A solid effort, I think. Good luck!

Posted by: Brian on January 15, 2006 6:48 PM

here's what i want to know: why is the first post named 000003, the second 000001, and the third 000002? is there secret code to the dy article numbers?

Posted by: bruceo on January 16, 2006 2:20 PM

Hey, I'm claiming five even though that date won't roll around until September, and there have been breaks...anyway, you rule. Keep writing!

Posted by: SJ on January 18, 2006 9:31 AM

We shall call it your FirthAversary!

Happy FirthAversary, Yeti. If anyone deserves to be seated in a chair staring at a computer screen trying to think of something witty to say for Four or Five years, it's you.

Posted by: k_sra on January 24, 2006 11:04 AM

Curse you for being 10 days older than me! No wonder I always feel like I'm stuck in the back seat, with you and sis eating BBQ potato chips up front.

Posted by: Scot Hacker on January 27, 2006 1:52 PM


Posted by: fg on February 19, 2006 3:53 PM