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Sark Defends Port Deal

Sark today sought to quell the growing controversy over his decision to grant the MCP control of several major ports throughout the region.

"I believe that this arrangement with the Master Control Program should go forward," Sark told reporters aboard Solar Sailer One. He emphasized that security would continued to be handled by Tank and Recognizer programs, with the MCP only be in charge of port operations.

But Dumont, guardian of the I/O towers, voiced skepticism. "I could understand ceding authority over ports 21 and 80," said Dumont. "But port 443? That's supposed to be secure!"

The public's reaction to the plan has also been overwhelmingly negative. "No no no," said a bit upon hearing the news. "No no no no." Others were more blunt. "Sark should be de-rezzed for even proposing this," said Ram, a financial program.

Sark, who has repeatedly denied having ties to the MCP, has insisted that the hand-over go through, and says that he will vigorously resist any effort to block it. But programs such as Yori are equally adamant that the deal be scuttled. "My User," she said, "have we already forgotten the lessons of 1000212400?"

Posted on February 23, 2006 to News





Comments

End of line.

Posted by: dr.andros on February 25, 2006 1:21 AM

The fact that I'm turning 30 next week aside, I feel very silly that upon first seeing the name "Sark" my mind did NOT go immediately to TRON, but to the lady who makes the multicolored-fonted inspirational posters, et al crap. If I was not already going to a ginormous comic convention tomorrow, I'd make myself to repent for my sin against popular culture.

Good job, though your text adventure President is still your most inspired.

Posted by: vjb2 on February 25, 2006 1:25 AM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Andrew on February 25, 2006 5:04 AM

Money talks, good sense walks... as I gaze out from my own imaginary bubble I continue to wonder - why is it that, on the sunniest days of the year, some people will lay in the sun for hours and hours while others seem to enjoy playing chess with blasting caps and magnifying glasses on a board made of dynamite...

Posted by: candoor on February 25, 2006 5:14 AM

I must admit, I must be getting a little rusty, or I am not as big a geek as I had feared...

It took me until I read MCP to make the TRON connection...

But, make it I did...

Now if I could only get one of those light cycles... Thse did look cool!

Posted by: DisappearingJohn on February 25, 2006 5:51 AM

This is brilliant. Thanks for sharing it.

Posted by: jer on February 25, 2006 7:32 AM

I initially thought you were referring to the diminutive Channel Island.

Posted by: Simstim on February 25, 2006 8:53 AM

I'm afraid I don't get this at all.

To whom should I turn in my geek badge?

Posted by: Stephen Glenn on February 25, 2006 11:02 AM

Greetings, programs! I read the headline and my mind jumped immediately to Tron. Then I thought: no, this must be some new figure in the news who I hadn't heard about yet. Silly me.

Given that in the film, Sark was the MCP's lackey, the analogy makes quite a damning insinuation about our administration and where their real loyalties lie.

Posted by: divbyzero on February 25, 2006 11:18 AM

You are now officially the biggest geek in the Intarweb.

And hilarious, too!

Posted by: Mike on February 25, 2006 12:18 PM

Too funny, and still a little creepy how well the comparison works.

Posted by: AZ Dave on February 25, 2006 12:44 PM

Tron??? This is a reference to TRON??? You guys even REMEMBER that movie? I never realized it was such a hallmark of Geekdom.

Next time you want to tease Bush, try using a reference to The Apple Dumpling Gang. Then I'll be impressed.

Posted by: Stephen Glenn on February 25, 2006 2:10 PM

Apple Dumpling Gang? Done.

Sheriff Homer McCoy today sought to quell the growing controversy over his decision to hand over management of the local bank to reformed bank robbers Amos Tucker and Theodore Ogilve.

"I believe that this arrangement with the Tucker and Ogilve should go forward," McCoy told reporters aboard his horse in front of the bank. He emphasized that with Tucker and Ogilve in charge of the bank, they would be less likely to rob for it, since they would be stealing money from themselves.

But Leonard Sharpe, the previous bank manager was skeptical. "They spend all this time trying to steal a gold nugget from this bank," said Sharpe, "and now instead of punishing them for their criminal acts, the sheriff rewards them...and to top it off, they are completely incompetent!"

The public's reaction to the plan has also been overwhelmingly negative. "No no no," said Russell Donovan upon hearing the news. "I like them personally, but I don't think I would trust them with my gold nuggets." Others were more blunt. "I have to go to the bathroom now more than ever," said Celia Bradley.

McCoy, who has repeatedly denied having ties to the Ogilve and Tucker, has insisted that the hand-over go through, and says that he will vigorously resist any effort to block it. But others such as Major Gaskill are equally adamant that the deal be scuttled. "If this plan goes through, no one will see me in the sequel."

Posted by: Andy on February 25, 2006 4:55 PM

Bring out the Logic Probe!

Posted by: Keith on February 27, 2006 9:01 AM

I've really got to sit down with my 6-year-old and watch Tron with him.

Posted by: Sam on February 27, 2006 11:08 AM

Did anyone else go right to "Alias" at first?

Posted by: adam875 on February 27, 2006 12:34 PM

Awesome!

The time_t value is odd, though. That's 11:40:46 am Eastern, 5 minutes short of 3 hours after the first plane hit. 1000212360 would be the time of impact of the first plane.

What, me geeky? Never!

Posted by: Marcos on February 27, 2006 2:22 PM

Wow, I can't remember Tron that well so this did nothing for me but this post was picked up by Bruce Schneier on his excellent Schneier on Security blog (I highly recommend his book Beyond Fear) and from there on Wil Wheaton's blog.

Posted by: Aaron on February 27, 2006 2:34 PM

You are a funny, funny, funny man. Tron references, live on!

Posted by: Dan Sroka on February 27, 2006 4:07 PM

Bwahahahahaaaa....

Posted by: Jay Maynard on February 27, 2006 7:37 PM

nice! hehe

Posted by: sennik on March 23, 2006 12:26 AM