Today is my birthday, and it looks like Sony Pictures has sent me a gift.

"Warns someone: 'Don't overthink it.' Sage advice for anyone masochistic enough to watch this pile of poorly pixelated vampire poo. Yet it's impossible to take: Crank your brain to its lowest possible idle and you'll still overthink Ultraviolet. " -- Scott Brown, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.

"Unscreened for critics and unfit for consumption. " --Jack Mathews, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

"In opening voiceover, a superhuman killing machine named Violet warns the viewer, 'I was born into a world you may not understand.' Boy hidee, she ain’t kidding ..." -- Kimberley Jones, AUSTIN CHRONICLE

"Ultrastupid, ultra-incoherent, ultrasilly - and way, way ultraboring." -- Lou Lumenick, New York Post

"A film to be enjoyed only by science-fiction movie completists and middle school boys with extreme cases of attention deficit disorder." -- Peter Hartlaub, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

"Her sword is red, her eyes are blue and her movie is horrible." -- Lisa Rose, Star-Ledger

"Uwe Boll would be proud ..." -- James Berardinelli, ReelViews