When we first interviewed this week's subject, it confessed to feelings of low self-esteem and general dissatisfaction with its appearance, describing itself as "doughy," "a big loaf," and "day old."
Fortunately, we knew just what to do. The dyXM team swung-or-possibly-swang into action, giving it an Xtreme Makeover it will never forget!
Warning: some of the following images are graphic in nature
First we put the subject under the knife, to trim away some of that excess bulk.
A vast improvement, I'm sure you'll agree. Already the subject is looking good enough to eat.
Next we addressed the subject's pasty complexion, placing between two heating coils to give it a rich, golden tan.
And then our team went to work with the cosmetics, first slathering the subject with a foundation to cover up imperfections.
And then applying some color, to ensure that it would stand out in a crowd.
And because a beauty is nothing without a wardrobe to match, we ditched that plain, uninspired and put it on something with a little more pizzazz!
Scrumptious!
Thanks for joining us on defective yeti's Xtreme Makeover. Join us next week when we peel the years off our subject, giving it the youthful appearance of a baby.
you are a sick man.
Posted by: markus on April 5, 2006 8:56 PMWow! Next week will certainly be a show-stopper. Just how! did you get the years off the carrot???
Posted by: Kelly on April 5, 2006 9:04 PM2 questions :
1) What's your postal address ?
2) Can you do the same to my mother-in-law ?
I think you're kind of a genius.
How do you feel about that?
Posted by: John on April 6, 2006 1:15 AMSo when you go on a "break" to "finish up some projects," am I to understand that this is what constitutes a "project"?
Posted by: holley on April 6, 2006 3:52 AMIs the piece of toast single...?
Posted by: Max on April 6, 2006 4:39 AMI can't believe you ate from the middle, sticking someone else with the butt of the bread.
Dude, I thought I knew you.
Posted by: EdgeWise on April 6, 2006 4:47 AMI like bread butts and I cannot lie...
Posted by: Krooie on April 6, 2006 6:12 AMbest extreme makeover i've ever seen!
Posted by: geeky on April 6, 2006 6:26 AMUmmm, yeah, I hope you cut all those marker marks off the subject . . yuck. And no, I will not tell you how I know what Sharpie tastes like.
I think there maybe a toy house somewhere calling out for a dyXM- Home Edition treatment. What ever happened to Squirrely's house of audio torment? Enquiring minds want to know!
Posted by: Kevin on April 6, 2006 6:49 AMvery funny Krooie. But now I have SirMixAlot stuck in my head...damn you.
Posted by: yoyo on April 6, 2006 9:02 AMI think you could have possibly chosen a more modern color that may have gone better with the subject's complexion. Grape purple just seems so yesterday's fashion.
Posted by: Dennis on April 6, 2006 9:22 AM...the carrot analogy reminds me of one of those old Warner Bros. mockumentary cartoons where they show a giant log whittled down to a toothpick, ala Mr. Rogers-'splains-how-it's-done style. My brother bought it hook, line, and sinker...the moron!
Posted by: MJ on April 6, 2006 9:30 AMyou know, i've always been dead set "going under the knife" as it were. this entry has completely changed my mind, and hopeully my life.
Posted by: joy on April 6, 2006 9:39 AMAnd here I thought defective yeti was getting a site redesign
Posted by: J.P. on April 6, 2006 10:25 AMAha! That's where the loaf bread went! Damn your blog!
Posted by: The Queen on April 6, 2006 10:35 AMYou, sir, are the king of cheesy double-entendre. Bravo. I, however, can't read Max's comment without putting it in the voice of Dr. Zoidberg.
Posted by: Danielle on April 6, 2006 11:09 AMI thought I hated reality tv, that callous producers were just trying to jerk me around with 'group think' emotions. My heart has truly been touched...or my brain has truly been toasted...one or the other.
Hazzah
Posted by: Gillian on April 6, 2006 2:11 PMAs I sit here eating a toasted English muffin with jam, I can't help but think this show may be a success.
Posted by: kitty on April 6, 2006 2:26 PMUm... shouldn't this have been "Xtreme Makeover--The Foodie Edition?"
Posted by: Wende on April 6, 2006 2:28 PMWhat? No peanut butter??
Posted by: Flamingess on April 6, 2006 6:05 PM"Swinged"?
Posted by: Oliver on April 7, 2006 4:20 AMDid you know that 'baby carrots' really aren't 'baby' carrots at all? It's an interesting story that involves a carrot producer who was wondering what he could do with all his mishapen carrots beside turning them into fodder. He received neither fame nor fortune. He did get an interview on CBC up here.
That's all folks.
Hey first time here. You are funnee.
Posted by: Hänni on April 8, 2006 5:54 AMI loved yoyo's comment about Sir Mix Alot and now I have a Weird Al version of "I like bread butts" in my head too. He should totally do that for his next album.
Posted by: Ryan on April 8, 2006 4:03 PM