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Betting Wrong

In The Morning News today, I liken Newt Gingrich to He-Man. Yes, really.

Posted on October 02, 2006 to Elsewhere





Comments

He Man evil? These SS officers are contemplating the same thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO5WoLnOOlU

-via reddit

Posted by: john I on October 2, 2006 9:54 AM

I think you need to update your Morning News bio to mention your kid.

Just a thought.

:)

Posted by: Marcos on October 2, 2006 10:20 AM

Point well taken. However, I would not be living up to my potential dorkiness if I didn't point out that you cited, as one of your rivalries, the Transformers vs. Decepticons. Technically, it was the Autobots who fought the Decepticons, and the entire population were properly called the Transformers.

Not to take anything away from what you wrote, but as I wasted some of the better years of my life sitting in front of the TV watching this mind-killing crap, I felt that I should say something.

Carry on.

Posted by: Matt on October 2, 2006 10:57 AM

Wow. You know, I would go to the house of a bully in my neighborhood specifically to play with his complete set of He-Man toys, and I never once considered this. I could probably tie everything together pretty neatly if I knew how to write.

Posted by: Mo on October 2, 2006 11:22 AM

Matthew,

You nailed it!

Our problem is not Democrats vs Republicans, but rather Politicians vs the People.

Posted by: Darren on October 2, 2006 11:32 AM

I'm slightly concerned that I'm not the first commenter to come here with the express purpose of pointing out the Transformers/Autobots point...

On the other hand, I guess it's probably nice to know I'm not the only one...

Posted by: Paul on October 2, 2006 12:09 PM

One of the 9 things I learned at UCSB is that the Masters of the Universe show was one of the reasons that Congress passed the Children's Television Act in 1990.

They noticed that product-based shows like GI Joe, My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake were just crap.. I mean that they "blur the distinction between program content and commercial speech".

Posted by: Rob Cockerham on October 2, 2006 1:01 PM

Not to get all serious on you Matthew but...that was not just funny. It's brilliant political satire. The He Man metaphor. I'm afraid you have cracked the golden egg of bullshit right open, my friend. And finally someone has mentioned the absurd dance between our government and Al Q--and a one two three, a one two three, one two three count! They waltz the whole world over a cliff, keeping perfect time with each other.

I remember the whole contract with America thing. Dude, they were really scary then and totally the bad guys but the person everyone was scared of at the time was Gingrich and that was a tempest in a teapot. And what they were scared of seems so laughable now that we found out Skeletor has the bomb and has stacked the Supreme Court.

As I recall, wasn't Skeletor some kind of sadistic evil for evil's sake dude or was that just the cannibalistic Smurf eating guy? I don't know, I heard about it all second hand. I never got to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Sniff. SEE MOM? SEE? I needed it for political analysis! Thanks a lot. You have left me with no pop cultural references.

Posted by: ozma on October 2, 2006 6:45 PM

Hey Matt,
Good stuff!

Hey Ozma,
Back in the day, other than a wardrobe change all the villains from Saturday morning cartoons were pretty much interchangeable: Skeletor, Gargamel, Megatron, Mumm-Ra, Cobra Commander.

They're all displaced and fighting the 'good guys' to get their castle/land/planet/world domination/magical power back.

They have world domination plans, but are thwarted- EVERY TIME- by mere happenstance and never try that plan again.

They talk big, but are actually cowards. They usually have a comic relief sidekick that they can blame the cowardice on (except poor old Gargamel) and rely totally on that lieutenant to do important jobs despite their track record of failure, week after week, after week!

I can't speak to Matt's original theory, but I am absolutely certain that the Bush Administration learned how to operate from these shows. Too bad they took their cues from the losing side.

Although, in all fairness, the good guys in those shows were total morons, too. They never put in place any safeguards that common sense would dictate. Despite having tremendous cosmic power they are constantly surprised by the villains lame plans and their comic relief is even more incompetent that the villain's.

Thanks for making me think about this, Matt! Can I have my braincells back now?

Posted by: Kevin on October 3, 2006 7:06 AM

What's up with that portrait?...thekeez

Posted by: Jeff Keezel on October 3, 2006 7:45 AM

Have you ever done something and looked at yourself in the mirror, murmuring "I'm one of those type of people?" I guess I'm one of those people.

The '80s He-Man, it was ok. And lets forget that whole "The New Adventures of He-Man" ever happened. The revamp that was released in the late '02 retells it. Castle Greyskull was the home of King Greyskull long before there was ever a Skeletor. In comics it's hinted that skeletor was really King Randor's brother but in the '02 series he fought Randor and in a dirty moved threw acid at him, Randor deflected the vial and it splashed in his face - leaving a skull. Thats all I know off the top of my head, for the rest we turn to Wikipedia:
Skeletor was not concerned with Castle Grayskull until a giant fish-monster headed toward it and the Masters (Eternian warriors led by Man-At-Arms and He-Man) stopped it, forcing Skeletor to ponder what could be in that ancient pile of stones worth dying for. (At the time, the Heroic Warriors seemed ready and willing to let Grayskull fall, and would likely have done so, if not for the urgings of Man-at-Arms, who had been swallowed whole by the monster.)

Posted by: meice on October 3, 2006 8:05 AM

Matthew, I loved your column! I must say that you did a masterful job of creating an analogy that would successfully navigate you through a truly bi-partisan summary of "how we got here".

(My Mom wouldn't let me watch He-Man because it was too "evil". He-Man lived in an "evil" castle and Skeletor..well..he was a skeleton.)

Posted by: Scott on October 3, 2006 12:01 PM

"Skeletor was not concerned with Castle Grayskull until a giant fish-monster headed toward it and the Masters (Eternian warriors led by Man-At-Arms and He-Man) stopped it, forcing Skeletor to ponder what could be in that ancient pile of stones worth dying for."

Skeletor was hell-bent on taking Greyskull because there had to be something cool in there because a monster attacked it once? Nice.

Posted by: Isaac Kelley on October 4, 2006 7:22 AM

@ozma:
Nice job refering to Gargamel. Actually, I just learned recently, that the same pattern Matt outlined here applies to the Smurfs as well: The Smurfs supposedly represent the 7 deadly sins which Gargamel is trying to extinguish... He's the Inquisition, so to say.

Now, what am I trying to say here? I'm not really sure myself... nevermind.

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End ^) See you

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