i've always wanted to come up with a more humane replacement for "killing two birds with one stone."

maybe that than make the next round?

How about "two cookies in one bite"?

Another alternative to "If you won't shake your bootie, get off the dance floor" is "Shit or get off the pot."

Here's one my Dad uses: instead of "as smooth as silk" how about "slicker than snot on a doorknob."

I had a friend who's birthday was on Christmas.

Twice the jokes; half the presents.

Of course he would want birthday cake on Christmas.

Those are actually quite clever!

I'm going to have to keep coming back until I remember a few choice ones!

I've always thought "the cat's purr" is a lot more special than "the cat's meow".

Reading through these I started reading just the new one and trying to guess the old cliche. I think it would make a great quiz game, maybe trivial pursuit style.

I was thinking about these at work tonight, and this really wenchy, er, anyway, I thought of one perhaps for "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"--People without firewalls shouldn't view porn.

Favorites:
EVERYONE gets ice cream!
He's a stamp-licker

Hey, are you planning any updates to Tricks of the Trade anytime soon? I miss that site! :)

"Wants birthday cake on Christmas" and "tanning the soles of his feet" sound like authentic cliches; I love them and plan to start using them.

Best of those that sound obviously new are "like finding a clock in a casino" and "more fun than 20 yards of bubble wrap." I might add those to my vocabulary.

"Doesn't have the sense that God gave a cabbage" has been used by my family for years. Wonder if I'm related to Cindy?

Plus: A closer match for "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" (don't be critical of others' flaws if you aren't perfect yourself) would be "People without firewalls shouldn't send out spam."

This might be my favorite blog post of all time, though the one about loving the Squirrelly being like hot peppers has (obviously) stuck with me for a while.

Another suggestion: "I smell what you're stepping in", to replace "I know what you mean" (which clearly is not a cliche, but IS boring). I heard that on America's Next Top Model last season.

The ones about ice cream, bubble wrap and Ivan the Wonderful made me laugh (although Leo Durocher's actual quote was "The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place"). "Jeeves in a Google world" made no sense until I realized it was the ask.com Jeeves, and not Stephen Fry's character in PBS's adaptation of P.G. Wodehouse's "Jeeves and Wooster" series. I'm a real stamp-licker, ain't I?

@ Valerie: no no, "slicker than PAM on a doorknob..."

Just as I thought that nothing could top "We'll chop that tomato when the salsa runs out", I read "You poop it, you scoop it". Superb.

Man, these are fantastic. You've got some witty commenters. Except me. Mine is kinda lame. Oh well.

Is "deadlines" a typo?

If you changed the name of The Cliche Rotation Project to The Cliche Rotation Augmentation Project, the project's acronym would be CRAP.

These are great, but I'm not feeling the clock in the casino one. The point of needle in a haystack is that you are looking for one "different" thing among a billion "same" things. It's not about finding something well-hidden or non-existent.

Hehe. My favourite:

It's a win-win situation. => Everyone gets ice cream!

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=792 -- your topic reminds me of this great comic that's had me laughing about lions for the last few weeks...

"Running around like a chicken with its head cut off" => "As busy as a one-legged man in a cockroach stomping contest."

Well, I never got tired of hearing my niece N. say "that dog don't hunt."

I am however very tired of her beating me at "chickenbutt."

in texas i'd hear: " as busy as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest"

These may not be original, but I still like them:

1. Losing one's virginity = "Cashing in the V card."

2. That's telling him! = "Sing it, Sista!"

3. Oh, my aching feet. = "My dogs are barking."

Powers says...

in texas i'd hear: " as busy as a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest"

Also, "busier than a one-armed paperhanger" (add "with crabs" if extra-busy).

And of course, let's get timely.

Let's Roll --> "Alright, astronauts, strap on your diapers"

my favorite which I've never heard anyone but myself use is:

that's bridge under the water.

Not only does it sound like the classic "water under the bridge, but it implies the opposite, a catastrophic rather than mundane event, yet can be used to imply a deed already done.

It's water under the bridge? Who knew?

The thing with mashing up a couple of cliches is pretty common around here, where "Is the Bear polish?" serves as the standard Rhetorical Answer.

i really hope these catch on...then maybe someday we can look back and really know where a saying came from. i'm pretty sure i invented "dropping a deuce" but alas i don't i'll ever receive credit. i hope that when i die and (hopefully) go to heaven i can ask questions like these.

My favorite cliche mashup has always been, "He's barking up the wrong leg."

My dad uses "Dryer than a popcorn fart"

Your website is wonderful. I will come visit again.

For down the hatch: mastication managed! (I suppose it would have to be said after eating something, so its not a real rotation).

Or perhaps a simple declarative: I eat you!

Said by my immigrant co-worker:
"She's the apple of my heart"
"I'll be sleeping on the dog box tonight"

From one of my more literate friends:
"Up a tree without a canoe"
"Running around like a chicken with its head cut off"
"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven"
"Don't lick a gift horse in the mouth"

My coworker often says: It's not rocket surgery.

1. I have to say that "Dumb as a box of rocks" never gets old, though "Dumb as a bag of hammers" is good too. Really, the key word here is "dumb".

2. The Bulgarian CEO of a now-defunct company I once worked for was happily telling us at a company meeting that the director of engineering would stop pestering him, since he'd solved a particular problem. "Yes," he said "This will keep Bob out of my ass".

good times, good times.

instead of "worst case scenerio", say "worse case Ontario" - Ricky from the trailer park boys said that and i was in stitches

Or what about "worst case oratorio" - not something the trailer park boys would probably have come up with, but pretty evocative.

A while back I coined (or so I thought - a Google search does come up with a few citations) the work "malphorism" (= malaprop + aphorism) for cliche mashups (a long time before "mashup" was coined).

My favorite is "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it".

Gotta go, lately, I don't have two minutes to rub together.

A more humane replacement for "killing two birds with one stone" might be "Feeding two birds with one seed." I've always liked that one...

Coming up with new cliches is not rocket surgery.

Love this post.

Had a friend who used to get mixed up and say things like, "Oh, they left me totally out in the blue on that one." Or, "That's it, I'm throwing in the rag."

I spent some time studying Arabic in Jordan and part of our class every day was learning dialect. For a few days we learned Arabic proverbs and compared them to English ones, and the best by far was translated as something like "Don't flood your house with piranhas if you have a tiger problem" to mean, roughly, "two wrongs don't make a right".

Judd & Soulyluna--

for "killing two birds with one stone."

We've always said, "Feed two birds with one scone."

Great post. Loved boot souffle to the old knuckle sandwich, trying to find a clock in a casino & Jeeves in a Google world.

Thanks!

Great reading. The ones mangled/recalibrated by children would make a collection in themselves (far more entertaining than those endless video clip shows of Jnr. crashing his bike into Daddy's legs etc.) - the image of a pajama-clad bee is hard to beat. My little sister attempted one years ago that stuck with our family, when she declared: "It's like duck's water off my back".

We'll burn that bridge when we get to it.

similar to others, I've used "we'll fall off that bridge when we get there"

a friend of ours once said "isn't that the cat's ass"

my buddy came up with "if the shoe fits, don't try any more on"