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The Bad Review Revue: Skanks A Million

Critics are raving over Bratz!

"Not that I was expecting much out of a movie based on a line of dolls, but ..." -- Richard Roeper, EBERT & ROEPER

"OMG! This movie is SO BAD! I can't believe I just spent an hour and a half of my life, like, watching it, when I could have been totally trying on hairbands!" -- Amy Biancolli, HOUSTON CHRONICLE

"As for Jon Voight's presence as the school's principal, one can only assume his Oscar statue is shedding actual tears." -- Elizabeth Weitzman, DAILY NEWS

"Offers supporting evidence that any film in which 'Awesome!' gets uttered more than three times should get a NC-17 rating, regardless of all the benefits such a move would deny the hair-extension industry." -- John Anderson, VARIETY

"I could actually feel my brain stem shrivel up as I watched it." -- Ty Burr, BOSTON GLOBE

"To the Bratz, individualism is only cool as long as it doesn't require unfashionable pants." -- Jeannette Catsoulis, THE NEW YORK TIMES

"On the wrong side side of the so-bad-it's-good line." -- John Anderson, LOS ANGELES TIMES

"Doesn't have an idea in its head but still screams at the top of its lungs." -- Jonathan Rosenbaum, CHICAGO READER

"Bratz celebrates something even more important than good grades or good friends: the vital acquisition of totally awesome shoes." -- Connie Ogle, MIAMI HERALD

"Will rot your child's mind, drain her soul and likely encourage early Botox dependency." -- Tom Long, DETROIT NEWS

Also: "Even Lindsay Lohan's mug shot was made with more skill than this bottom-of-the-barrel B-movie." Technically this is from a review of I Know Who Killed Me, but lumping Lohan in with the Bratz seems thematically appropriate. Thanks to Daniel for the tip.

Posted on August 10, 2007 to Bad Review Revue