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Local News: Blows!

Seattle has been rocked by, like, 14 mph winds today. So naturally the local media is reacting as if flesh-eating marmosets devoured the mayor.

WIND STORM 2007 IS FUCKING ON!!

Please to be noting:

  • Video caption reading "One man was forced to hold onto a tree to keep from being blown over."
  • Actual video shows man using single hand to grasp sapling about 1/50th his diameter and approximately 1° off perpendicular from the ground.
  • Lovable seven-year-old ragamuffin nonchalantly walks his bicycle past in the background.
You can't truly appreciate the devastation until you've seen the raw footage. (Warning: contains scenes of umbrella carnage not suitable for all viewers.)

Of course HOLY SHIT WINDSTORM 2007!!! did manage knock out power at my house, which left me without access to online porn for an hour or so. Fortunately I have a copy of the 1977 Sears Catalog in our emergency kit for just such a contingency.

Posted on October 18, 2007 to Favorite Posts, Seattle





Comments

"Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret Catalog! [buzzz]... Sears catalog. [ding!]"

Posted by: falwyn on October 18, 2007 11:29 PM

The umbrellas! Won't somebody please think of the umbrellas!

Posted by: craig on October 18, 2007 11:39 PM

Maybe the seven-year old is a physics prodigy. And the man, like Max Weinberg, has a steel spine. The sapling? Jack's beanstalk, pulled taut by the giant.

Posted by: JMH on October 19, 2007 12:12 AM

I got the impression the guy with the tree was possibly trying to hold the tree up, not himself. Actually, I'm not sure what he was doing... just looked kind of stupid. (What do you want to bet he's one of the camera crew?)

We got the same storm up here in Vancouver -- it was a little chilly and nasty but hardly a hurricane. Nothing like the one that knocked down a few hundred trees last year...

Posted by: cam c. on October 19, 2007 3:06 AM

Lost internet for about a half hour this afternoon. Last year lost power for a week.

Local news in Seattle really is much worse than other places. I knew moving to a small city would mean changes, but jeez. I hated local news in big cities, and then I got a daily diet of KING, KONG, KOMO, and KIRO.

Posted by: MikeJ on October 19, 2007 4:17 AM

When you watch the actual video, you can see what he is doing is trying to keep the tree from blowing over. He pushes it upright at one point. Keen observers those reporters....

Posted by: Sandy on October 19, 2007 4:45 AM

Living in New Orleans, we see this all the time. Usually it's a reporter screaming about how the wind is going to blow him away and a guy casually walks past. Also, in some flood or another, I believe they showed Katie Couric in a rowboat and a guy walks past in ankle deep water while she screams about how deep it is. I think they showed it on the Daily Show. But yeah, I think that guy was maybe trying to save the tree.

Posted by: Andree on October 19, 2007 5:32 AM

Okay, yeah, it was windy yesterday. Bellingham had stronger winds, but I think the worst of the damage was inflicted on my roommate's hair.

Posted by: Chelsea on October 19, 2007 8:22 AM

You want carnage...I'll give you carnage, my hat blew clean off my head, down 3rd, turned the corner onto Columbia...and landed in front of a car wheel!!!

Of course the car wasn't moving, I picked up my hat and casually strolled back to the bus stop while dusting my hat off...


sheesh, these reporters really need to get lives

Posted by: Jesse on October 19, 2007 8:47 AM

AHA. yet another mind warped by the infamous shadow below the boxers.

Posted by: bob on October 19, 2007 9:52 AM

Hmmm...I'm no investigatory journalist, but it just looked to me like that guy was kinda wasted.

Posted by: shannon on October 19, 2007 9:57 AM

This is more evidence that watching tv news of any sort rots your brain. Anything important you need to know will filter through word of mouth and teh internets down to you in time.

Posted by: Nathan on October 19, 2007 10:18 AM

My local paper did a whole story about a guy who "looked" like Morgan Freeman.

Posted by: Guy on October 19, 2007 11:06 AM

I really watch it for Jim "Danger" Foreman. Oh those silly reporters.

Posted by: hello insomnia on October 19, 2007 11:08 AM

You must be crazy... I was in Capital Hill yesterday and those raging torrential winds were strong enough to wreak devastation on my hairstyle.

But seriously, I flew into Seattle on Wednesday, and the tv news had me terrified of what was to come. And what did come were some strong winds (made walking outside slightly unpleasant), some intermittent power outages, and an awesome 100mph tailwind for my flight back to Salt Lake, shaving over 30 minutes off the flight.

Posted by: gb on October 19, 2007 11:38 AM

You are funny.

Posted by: Amanda B. on October 19, 2007 12:04 PM

Weather reports in Seattle must always be taken with several grains of salt. If it rains it's a torrential downpour, an inch of snow is a blizzard and cause to shut down damn hear everything, and a little wind is a hurricane strength storm. It's like all the news departments in this town are run by Chicken Little.

Posted by: Dave on October 19, 2007 12:23 PM

I work at the Hutch. The sculpture in question was commissioned very recently with a big fat price tag, and wasn't quite finished yet. A lot of people really hated it. Including, apparently, the weather gods.

It's hailing right now.

Posted by: gurple on October 19, 2007 12:57 PM

What was that huge pile of scrap metal at the end? Whatever that thing was, it looks like it took a beating.

Posted by: Anon on October 19, 2007 1:48 PM

Guy-
That is awesome. I guess it'd be nice to be written up, even if it was for a bogus resemblence in local paper.

Posted by: Jeremy on October 19, 2007 3:30 PM

It was STORM WATCH 2007!! I am amazed all of us in Seattle survived. ;)

Posted by: Jess on October 19, 2007 4:09 PM

OMG, the 1977 Sears catalog, I was 13. There were some bra and panty sets that were available in pink or blue with alternating stripes of satin and sheer. OMG, I still remember those.

Posted by: anon on October 19, 2007 4:15 PM

I worked as a stagehand for a local TV station. The station owner would get a three foot hardon whenever there was "extreme weather." All it meant was fearing up the local population of gullible idiots by making whatever tiny weather pattern into some Weather Apocalypse. Then again, these same people that drove up our ratings also read those stupid Left Behind books and voted for Bush TWICE! Fucking retards.

Perhaps the child walking the bike is imbued with some wind-repelling magiks acquired via a Dungeons & Dragons game. Get your local equivalent of Christian Values-monger / child rapist James Dobson to provide color commentary and Biblical exegesis on such a phenomena. Maybe he can do the Christian thing: blame the Zionist Jew media, hippie communist gays, and lesbian gym teachers, who are all perpetrating said wind-repelling with a Satanic spell.

Posted by: Kent Brockman on October 19, 2007 7:47 PM

My favorite part is the news article to the side noting that "ferries were affected."

Affected in what way, exactly? How do you tell if a ferry is affected by something? They're pretty much either working or not. I've never seen a ferry that was, say, functional but mildly distressed.

Posted by: The Scarlet Pervygirl on October 20, 2007 9:48 PM

Oh, please... 14mph?... that's like 22.5kmh... I live in Lethbridge, Alberta and that's just a gentle breeze here. High wind here is anything over 80kmh (50mph)... wusses..

Posted by: Windy on October 21, 2007 8:22 AM

>>I've never seen a ferry that was, say, functional but mildly distressed.

TSP - you just made my entire weekend with that remark.
:) - OperaGal

Posted by: whfropera on October 21, 2007 8:40 AM

When I was trying to come home from work, gusts over the 520 bridge hit 56mph, folks. Don't just assume that the asinine "14mph" title is correct. Thousands of people lost power for the night, too.

Posted by: Ben Schiendelman on October 21, 2007 11:45 AM

Ahh, the nostalgia. I moved from Seattle 5 years ago and I do miss the headline weather NEWS!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure if the rest of the country realises that Seattle has, on average, the mildest weather in the world. It's 50 degrees and drizzling 10 months out of the year - so any slight perturbance seems like cataclysmic globe trembling acts of god. "Thousands lost power"? OHMYGOD - it is soooo hard to start the day without the double mocha latte with sprinkles.

Good luck holding the trees up, y'all.

Posted by: rob from tennessee on October 22, 2007 8:47 AM

Ahh, just like the last storm we had over here.
which caused "Dozens of uprooted trees" and "several thousand of euros worth of damage"

Read: Branch falls on car, Dead tree in HUGE forest falls over. Film at eleven.

Posted by: Alcari on October 22, 2007 10:26 AM

Hmm... we just got back from Seattle and my 6 year old strolled confidently through the windstorm. That footage seems to be usable for just about anything vague.

Posted by: Gillian on October 22, 2007 2:41 PM

It's not like living on the plains gives me a better perspective on wind speeds. Seconded.

Posted by: Andrew on October 26, 2007 9:48 AM

I cracked up when I read 'I hated local news in big cities, and then I got a daily diet of KING, KONG, KOMO, and KIRO.'

Have you ever heard of the power button or channel changer?

Posted by: Tim on October 28, 2007 8:50 PM