Posted on July 21, 2008 to Tweets
- Rice cakes are actually pretty tasty, when properly frosted.
- Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac threaten America. Actual economic news, not the title to a misguided "Little Rascals" feature film.
- Apparently life expectancy has fallen. Thank god. It's nice to know that people are now expecting less from my life.
- To the kid at the bustop twirling sai: you look more "teenage turtle" than "mutant ninja", I'm afraid.
- Old woman yelled at me as I zipped past on my bicycle. "You scared the PUDDING outta me!" she shrieked.
- NPR: I would gladly contribute if you could guarantee that I'd NOT somehow wind up at the "Rhubarb Tour With Garrison Keillor".
- Some asshole assaulted me while I tried to eat lunch. Now I am shaken and hungry.
- Oh god, I am miserably overfull. I am going to travel back in time 40 minutes and slap that burrito from my own hand before I can eat it.
- I wish I could quit you! But I must instead irritate you until I get fired, if I want to collect unemployment.
Ha! In their original Twitter form I missed the time travel burrito one (but saw the lunch assault tweet) and now I finally get the entire joke =)
I hadn't seen the unemployment one yet! Priceless.
Trying to get fired already? I don't even know what a 'writer' is supposed to do! ;c)
I just love your blog. You now also have the honor and distinction of being the ONLY person I know whose tweets are treats.
Haha! It took me a sec to connect the assault and burrito tweets. Nicely done.
Also, I am now going to use the word "pudding" as a scatalogical reference. I will anounce to my coworkers that it is "pudding time". Or I will let people know that I had a particularly runny pudding today. Or that my daughter got pudding all over the floor. Nobody else will have any clue that every time I say "pudding" I mean "shit". This will prove extremely entertaining to me for a while.
And then when I get bored of this game, maybe after a day or two, I will let people know what I've been doing. And I will again be gleefully entertained as I watch their expressions while they recall all of my recent "pudding" comments in their new scatalogical context.
I love these posts. So much.
One of my recent NPR favorites:
"They were all seated at the long, wooden table. Words were spoken."