Round II:

6:00: Aww rats. Obama and McCain just came out wearing their normal attire. After the "I've got a bracelet" / "oh yeah, well I also have a bracelet" exchange of the first debate, I was hoping they'd arrived encumbered by layers and layers, and would spend the whole debate stripping off articles of clothing and sharing the personal anecdotes associated with each. "This stocking cap was given to me by a grandmother who lost her retirement in the stock market", "well these cuff-links were given to me by an unaborted fetus" ...

6:01: Brokaws' tie matches the bright red carpet, and McCain's tie matches the bright red carpet. Obama is the odd man out with blue. CONSPIRACY?

6:04: McCain's first statement to Obama included a fleeting moment of eye contact and the phrase "It's good to see you at a townhall meeting" with the "finally" left unspoken.

6:06: First headlights-in-the-deer moment goes to McCain on the "who would you appoint" question. Uhh, did I just write "headlights-in-the-deer"?

6:08: This is basically a "9 Mile" style rap contest, with the candidates trying to weave talking points into their performance rather than mad rhymes.

6:11: McCain used his response to attack Obama; Obama (so far) is ignoring the attack and answering the question. Is this how it's going to go all night? Update: Nope. "Now, I have to correct Senator McCain history ... unsurprisingly..."

6:15: This is pretty dull. I hope there's a "Rock Band Challenge" component to this debate; this is the perfect venue for it.

6:18: Apparently the candidate who says the phrase "special interests" the most will receive 40 bonus points.

6:20: Brokaw keeps asking really tough questions, and poor McCain keeps getting them first (while Obama gets 60 seconds to come up with an appropriate nonanswer).

6:25: McCain gets a question from the Internet. This is the most email he's ever received!

6:29: "You know, a lot of you probably remember the tragedy of 9/11." Gee Obama, ya think?

6:30: Doubling the Peace Corps!? Where the hell did that proposal come from? Has Obama ever mentioned it before, or are we venturing into improv, here?

6:33: McCain is now saying that Obama "wants to raise taxes." Not that he's going to, just that he really, really wants to.

6:35: Words that will not escape Obama's lips tonight: "I agree with John."

6:36: Oh, god. Can we just stipulate, ahead of these debates, that McCain will swear that Obama will raise taxes and Obama will give his "not one dime" rebuttal? It would save everyone 20 minutes.

6:38: McCain says that fixing Social Security is not very hard, all we have to do is "sit down at the table" ZOMG WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!

6:40: McCain namecheck tally: Leiberman: 3, Palin 0.

6:42: When Obama said "The computer was originally invented by {ominous pause} a number of government scientists", I honestly thought he was going to say "Al Gore" there for a moment.

6:45: Again, McCain gets the tough Brokaw question first. That's rough, dude.

6:47: For the record, here are all the issues that Obama does not think are "central"

• The next poet laureate
• The redesign of the penny
• Whether the toilet paper rolls in the whitehouse crappers will be "over" or "under"

6:52: McCain is very insistent that I do the math.

6:53: Is healthcare a right? McCain just gave the wrong answer. Obama is so eager to give the right answer that he's standing up as he waits for his turn.

6:55: Before the third debate McCain should take a Sharpie and write the following on his hand: "DON'T FORGET: YOU SUCK AT JOKES".

6:58: Oh McCain, dude, did you just say a president needs to know "when we should go into a war and when we shouldn't". That's a slow pitch over center plate, my friend. Update: And yet, Obama just barely manages to get to first ...

7:04: I'm pretty sure "beneficially" isn't a word. Update: It is, but I still wouldn't use it three times in a single sentence.

7:07: iObama: "We will nuke bin Laden from orbit, even if he's discovered in Tampa."

7:09: It's hard to keep track of all of McCain's heroes. So far he's mentioned Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, and Gimli.

7:11: Brokaw's has pretty much given up. Unrelated: what's with the weird black rectangle behind these guys. Are individual cable channels photoshopping Cialis ads into that space or what?

7:17: McCain: "We're not going to have another cold war ... with Russia." Oo, I wonder who it's going to be with, then? I'm gonna guess Chad.

7:15: Yay, another "strategy vs. tactics" semantics fight! This is like hanging out with boardgame nerds.

7:16: "Part of the challenge for the next commander-in-chief is to foresee the challenges that we'll face. That's why I'll establish a Department of Precrime."

7:24: "Gamechanger", drink! But where the hell is "Maverick"? I should have done three or four dozen shots by now.

7:26: Brokaw says the final question is zen-like: "What don't you know." Obama: "Uhh, I'll tell you what I do know." McCain: "I don't know what the unexpected will be." Those responses are so lame they deserve only one-hand's worth of clapping.