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Sugar Daddy

Have you ever gone to buy a candy bar out of the snack machine and done that thing? You know, that one thing? Where you put your money in, fully intending to buy a Kit Kat or a Snickers or something, but then, just as you go to press the buttons, you suddenly feel kind of sorry for the unpopular candy bars, like the Big Hunk or the Bit-O-Honey? So then, in an impulsive fit of sympathy, you actually wind up buying one of the often overlooked treats? And a few moments later you're, like, standing there, masticating your Payday and wondering what the hell got into you, why on earth you found yourself inexplicably rooting for an inert hunk of milk chocolate and caramel?

Never? That's never happened to you? What, you mean not even once?

Well uh, yeah, of course that's stupid. That's what I'm saying. What? No. No, of course I've never done that, ha! No, this was strictly a, whatayacallit, a hypothetical. I mean, I've heard of some people, some stupid people, doing that, but not, you know, me personally.

What, this? I, uh. I happen to, you know, like Idaho Spud Bars, that's all.

Posted on October 15, 2002 to Observations


Are they made out of real spud?

Posted by: Rory on October 16, 2002 6:41 AM

Idaho Spud Bars are tasty, but my favorite is the "fudgepacker." Hey wait a second, that sounds kinda...

Posted by: Clark on October 16, 2002 9:42 AM

I've found myself buying candy bars strictly upon whether there is an opportunity to win a sweepstakes inside the wrapper. This phase in my life seems to be inversely proportional to my job satisfaction. This will play out in one of three ways. I will either win, gain 200 pounds, or get fired.

Posted by: derek on October 16, 2002 10:12 AM

Life is short. I don't owe Necco Wafers any loyalty. If you can't go right for the peanut butter cups, then go home.

Posted by: Laurie on October 16, 2002 2:10 PM

Oh yeah I've done that but it doesn't stop at chocolate. I've also felt sorry for junk mail, weeds,sprouts, broken milk cartons, old clothes and I think I'd better stop now...
btw. Sites up.

Posted by: Ko on October 17, 2002 12:43 AM

Hey! I like Bit o' Honey! Fascist.

Posted by: Steve on October 17, 2002 8:29 AM

That sort of touched me. You are sweet. And I do like bit o honey. Bit o honey is my favorite, actually. That and big hunk.

I say this after I spent the day reading anthologies of short stories from the 1950's. A bunch of writers no one remembers now. I can relate but instead I read abandoned literature.

I think you *think* of Bit O' Honey as forgotten because it is a very 1950's type of candybar.

Posted by: Miel on October 19, 2002 5:28 PM

Actually... I feel sorry for inanimate objects quite a bit. Per example: as a child, when choosing some toy/doll off a toy store shelf, if one toy was particularly more shabby than the others, I would feel sorry for it and choose it over the other ones, which presumably would be picked up by someone else.
Maybe I'm just silly.

Posted by: Julia on July 17, 2003 5:16 PM