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The Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers

The Morning News is today carrying an essay of mine entitled Holiday Survival Guide for Slackers. I was able to work some squirrels into it, so you'll definitely want to check it out.

Credit Where It's Due:

*Update: Have you ever had that moment in your life when you suddenly discover that one of your lifelong heroes is, in fact, a run-of-the-mill weasel, like when you found out Jimmy Carter had lust in his heart, or when Jim Henson let us all down by dying? Well, that happened to me today when I discovered that DAVE BARRY TOTALLY RIPPED ME OFF!!! His so-called "Gift" "Guide" contains the very same book as mine does! This is a scandal of pre-Subway Jared proportions!!

Oh sure, you could argue that I stole the whole "gift guide of stupid things" concept from him in the first place. And you could point out that his guide appeared nearly two weeks before mine. And you could suspect that I, Asshole first heard of The Book via Dave Barry's column, so, in a convoluted sense, I ripped him off. Yes. Yes, you could do that. OR YOU COULD GO START YOUR OWN FREAKIN' WEBLOG YOU BACKSTABBING BASTARD!! You're either with me or against me.

Posted on December 13, 2002 to Elsewhere


Dammit, man, I'm never going to be able to drink powdered Nestea again.

Posted by: Rory on December 13, 2002 9:57 AM

In case you wondered (the folks at Spencer Gifts have undoubtedly NEVER known), the "little whizzer" is actually a replica of a famous fountain in Brussels, Belgium. The two-foot-tall statue is called "Mannekin Pis" ("Little Boy (...well...) Pissing".

Posted by: Melinda on December 17, 2002 3:57 PM