<< Matt Millionaire | Movies: Talk To Her >>
I Swear This Is My Last Post On The Whole France ~ Iraq Thing

Phone conversation I just had with my buddy.

Him: I'm going to the movies tonight, y'wanna come?
Me: What are you seeing?
Him: Quai Des Orfevres
Me: What the -?! That sounds French.
Him: It is French.
Me: Dude, didn't you get the memo? You can't go to French movies any more.
Him: Why not?
Me: We hate the French now. They won't let us bomb Iraq.
Him: Hah!
Me: I'm only half kidding. Didn't you hear about "Freedom Fries"?
Him: No, what's that?
Me: Some restaurants changed "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries" on their menus because of the whole UN thing.
Him: Come on. That sounds like an urban legend.
Me: No way -- it was on the Internet so it's gotta be true. And I guess some stores stopped carrying French wines, too.
Him: Yeah, I'm sure people who think "Freedom Fries" is a good idea are huge consumers of French wine. France will be economically devastated!
Me: Hah hah!
Him: What about "French Toast."
Me: Now it's "Liberty Toast".
Him: Gotcha. Are any other country names off-limits now? What about "Iraq"? Can we still say "Iraq"?
Me: No, now you have to substitute patriotic words for "Iraq". Like, when you're playing pool and you're between games, you can't say "I rack?" You have to say "Justice?"
Him: Right, right. And when frat boys are checking out girls, now they say "Holy shit, bro: she has democracy that won't quit!"
Okay. I know when I am out-punned.

Posted on March 05, 2003 to Conversations