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I guess they they sent a rocket to Mars with a bunch of Earth crap on it for aliens to find, including some music and stuff. And do you know CD they put in there? Not Godsmack, not Staind, not P.O.D., but some guys called Blur. WHO THE HELL IS BLUR??!!! you ask. That's what I said! So I snagged some mp3s off WASTE and tried to listen to them and it nearly killed me!!1! It was like listening to old people music like Simon and Garfield or whatever! And we sent this to Mars??!! Why not just put up a big sign that says "Hello Martians, we are a bunch of totally gay brit-pop-listening posers so come on down and invade and we if anyone tries to fight back we'll just go march in an anti-war protest" or something!!

We should have sent up New Deftones or Linkin Park and then the martians would be all, like "holy shit, dude, don't fuck with Earth cuz those guys sound totally bad-ass!!!" And we should put a Starship Troopers (best movie ever) DVD in there to show the aliens how we'll kick their insect-ass if they try anything or get all up in our face or whatever.

What? Blur did that "Woohoo!" song in the Starship Troopers trailer??!! No way, seriously? That song was pretty cool. But you know what was really cool about Starship Troopers? The way they had only one locker room for both guys and chicks and all those hotties were like stripping down in front of everybody. That fuckin ruled.

Posted on June 03, 2003 to Storytelling