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Johns Across America

Hah hah! You've probably seen this already, but the New York Post completely blew the VP call this morning:

Boy, I bet they feel stupid!

Here are the actual candidates being asked to rate their charisma on a scale of 1 to 5:

Jeeze, I can't imagine why the DNC thought the campaign needed more energy. I mean, look at that thumbs up. That's nearly a full knuckle's worth of enthusaism, right there.

Overall I'm pleased that Edwards got the nod, although, truth be told, these guys would be my first choice if I could put any two Johns in the White House.

Kerry at a recent rally:

"Dude, I only asked for a flag this big."

Posted on July 06, 2004 to Politics


In a related story, Howard dean was quoted as saying "Dude where's my candidacy……ARGH….ARGH……ARGH…..”

Posted by: Chris on July 6, 2004 5:25 PM

As a guy named John, I expect to take an equal share of power in America's new John-ocracy.

So ... that should be coming in the mail in January ... right, guys?

Posted by: John Voorhees on July 6, 2004 5:39 PM

Yes, the RNC gets all high and mighty over Edwards' lack of experience. IIRC, Shrub had less when he was elected what with the one term as governor of a "weak governor" state.

Anyhoo...Johns. Yes, I'm rather partial to johns. Wait. That doesn't sound very good.... ;-)

Posted by: misty on July 6, 2004 6:37 PM

My friend worked this (http://img36.exs.cx/img36/92/gigantic.jpg) up when he heard the news. GO ANYONE BUT BUSH!

Posted by: kevin on July 6, 2004 7:38 PM

Speaking of Johns we'd rather see in the White House, you must buy the squirrelly They Might Be Giants' "NO!" which is the best kids album ever.

(Well, OK, the one by Brave Combo with The Chicken Dance on it doesn't suck.)

Posted by: Carny Asada on July 6, 2004 8:46 PM

Personally, I'd much rather have a Ralph-Ralph ballot

Posted by: Matt on July 6, 2004 10:10 PM

Edwards, huh?

I really don't like his 'Crossing Over' show, but maybe he'll be a good VP.

Posted by: Lost Poke on July 7, 2004 9:34 AM

Too bad the Post's report isn't true. I would've loved to see Jeffy debating Cheney. "Who started this mess in Iraq? Not Me! Who made a shambles of the budget and ballooned the defecit? Not Me!"

Posted by: Jerry on July 7, 2004 10:08 AM

Neither one of these assholes have said anything about backing Pizza Party USA.

What is their damage?!

Posted by: brittney on July 7, 2004 3:13 PM

For a chilling appraisal of what happens when everyone in an influential political organization is named John, I refer you to the documentary "Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension."

Posted by: Christopher on July 7, 2004 3:39 PM

PEOPLE! look to the future!

Clinton/Clinton '08!

Posted by: deject on July 7, 2004 7:25 PM

Flans and Linnell '08!

Posted by: liedo on July 8, 2004 10:58 AM


i still long for a new bill and opus ticket. now more than ever.

Posted by: the mighty jimbo on July 8, 2004 2:46 PM

BUSH was this big !!! I swear we were in the locker room and dam that TEXAN is huge

Posted by: john on July 8, 2004 4:47 PM