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Pledge of Allegiance

My new piece, Pledge of Allegiance, is up at The Morning News.

Posted on March 17, 2005 to Elsewhere


I called 1-800-ACRISIS but all I got was the San Francisco Ramada Plaza. The nice lady there didn't know anything about a fundraiser - but I did get 10% off my next stay and she is very interested in personal retirement accounts.

I guess I'll try the dubya dubya dubya address next.

Posted by: Duane on March 17, 2005 8:29 AM

dy - first time/long time. Loved it - brilliant. Two questions though. Wasn't Bush just a bit too eloquent? And if that's a new neocon NPR station they're on, then everything's just all twisted around in the world. I guess it could be PBS though - they're pretty W. friendly these days, no?

Posted by: gaunilo on March 17, 2005 8:59 AM

Oi, pick a spelling wouldya?

Posted by: Emily on March 17, 2005 10:23 AM

Item: A study was just reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that, with the rate of obesity in the US, life expectancy will go down for future generations in the first half of the century.

Item: Congress passed a law last year (and W signed it) prohibiting lawsuits against fast food manufacturers on the basis of obesity.

Item: No Child Left Behind, with it's focus on test scores, has led many school district to cut or eliminate physical education classes in order to concentrate more on said test scores.

Kind of seems like maybe they've already started to take steps to shore up Social Security by making sure people won't need it for as long as they do now?

Posted by: C. on March 17, 2005 12:19 PM

W musta hired a voice double!

Nice post, Matt.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Posted by: pete on March 17, 2005 7:15 PM

"pledge at the Patriot level—by promising to support Social Security privatization and our next major piece of legislation, to be named later"

That one's the: Let's stop all that stupid 'elections' thing! Four more wars! Four more wars!

Matt, my stomach hurts now from laughing at these last 2 posts.

Posted by: Miel on March 18, 2005 1:25 AM

I serriously snorted at

Bush: And remember: Everyone who pledges gets an “I fixed it!” tote bag

That is way too funny!

Posted by: moira on March 18, 2005 8:00 AM

That was possibly the least funny thing you've ever written. The Morning News must have been desparate for content. Political satire is not your forte', stick to fart jokes.

Posted by: Anonymous on March 30, 2005 8:12 AM