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Red Suspenders

The following post was inspired by the thirty-sixth suggestion in No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog, which was randomly selected by Jan Ives of Dr Jan's Tips From The Top.

To: Ma Baldwin
From: Matthew Baldwin
Date: Jan 26, 2007 11:58 AM
Subject: Embarrassing photo

Hi, mom. This week my defective yeti posts are based on a book of blog suggestion. I had my readers randomly select the topics, and today I'm supposed to post an embarrassing photo from when I was younger. I sure you have a few laying around the house. Can you pick one, scan it, and send it my way?


* * *

To: Matthew Baldwin
From: Ma Baldwin
Date: Jan 26, 2007 1:57 PM
Subject: Re: Embarrassing photo

Here you go. I love this photo, but I bet you are probably embarrassed by it.

Red suspenders


* * *

To: Ma Baldwin
From: Matthew Baldwin
Date: Jan 26, 2007 3:10 PM
Subject: Re: Embarrassing photo

Oh, god. You win that bet.

Sort of,

Posted on January 26, 2007 to Plugapalooza, dy


That tie is flirting with me. I wish it would stop.

Posted by: SML on January 26, 2007 3:53 PM

If a picture is worth 1000 words then 859 of those words would be ha! The other 141 would be 0h, My, and GOD, in that order.

Posted by: duane on January 26, 2007 3:55 PM

I much prefer the one with the smoldering, hormone enraged stare. But this one? What duane said. The acid washed jeans and the coordinated skinny tie and suspenders. Oh you were so hip.

Posted by: HDC on January 26, 2007 4:04 PM

A little known member of Duran Duran, circa 1983 or 1984?

Posted by: Dave on January 26, 2007 4:17 PM

Someday Squirrely is going to look at that picture and think 'people used to dress so cool back then!' This is what I think when I see pictures of my mom from the sixties.

Or maybe not. But nostalgia is so weird-- wouldn't that be AMAZING?

Posted by: ozma on January 26, 2007 4:25 PM

Not Duran Duran. Maybe the lost member of Flock of Hairdos, er, Seagulls.

Posted by: Nugget on January 26, 2007 4:27 PM

It makes me think of Zack from Saved by the Bell!

Posted by: JulieVW on January 26, 2007 4:42 PM

You had the awesomest hair. Bees could live in that hair.

Posted by: Keith on January 26, 2007 5:10 PM

wow, that is why i made sure i missed my senior photo appointment and reschuedualed.

Posted by: svy on January 26, 2007 5:11 PM

You just moved up my list of top ten Internet Crushes. Big time.

Posted by: Jessica on January 26, 2007 5:16 PM

Good thing that tie is obscuring your manhood, otherwise I don't know if the ladies would be able to control themselves.

Posted by: shannon on January 26, 2007 5:23 PM

Look at that leg! You must weigh at least 75 pounds here.

Posted by: Beth on January 26, 2007 5:30 PM

That is an amazing photo. Sweet Jesus. I can't turn my eyes away.

Posted by: Kate on January 26, 2007 5:49 PM

Obstructing tie or no, I think it's clear that Mr. Baldwin has cajones.

Posted by: Maggie Mason on January 26, 2007 6:34 PM

Jean size: 10 slim

Posted by: Mark on January 26, 2007 6:39 PM

Did I go to the big homecoming dance with you in 1986?

Posted by: kelly on January 26, 2007 6:55 PM


Oh man.

But then, I had a curly mullet that year.

Posted by: emjaybee on January 26, 2007 7:06 PM

Tell the truth: you were ready to wang chung that night, weren't you.

Posted by: Chookooloonks on January 26, 2007 7:26 PM

That shirt is in our closet!

Posted by: The Queen on January 26, 2007 7:47 PM

You're a very brave man, Matthew.

Posted by: Alonzo Mosley (FBI) on January 26, 2007 7:57 PM


Posted by: Dawn on January 26, 2007 8:17 PM

That photo could not be any more 80s.

OK, I take that back -- you could have prep rolled your jeans.

Posted by: Jennifer on January 26, 2007 8:33 PM

Oh my god we must totally be the same age because I swear you look like someone I had a mad crush on in high school.

Posted by: jessamyn on January 26, 2007 9:35 PM

I'd hit it.

Posted by: Elf Radio on January 26, 2007 10:32 PM

That tie appears to be giving you a reacharound.

Posted by: pjcamp on January 26, 2007 11:00 PM

Your mom knows how to use a scanner? She RULES dude!

Posted by: Lilly on January 26, 2007 11:08 PM

Goddamnit, Baldwin! I wore a similar outfit (yeah, outfit is indeed the correct word) in high school swing choir. I've spent the past 20 years trying to forget these two humiliating facts, but there it is to remind me. Just friggin' great.

Posted by: SteveO on January 27, 2007 12:17 AM

That picture is... astounding. Truly impressive. All you need is the big brick cell phone to complete the Zack Morris ensemble.

Posted by: Ryan Waddell on January 27, 2007 1:03 AM

Squirelly: Geee Pa, what was it like in the 80s?

Matthew: Well son, have a look at this...

Squirelly: No, seriously. What was it like?

Posted by: jon on January 27, 2007 1:42 AM

That's a great idea for a blog and I'm so getting in on this action...

Posted by: Mark on January 27, 2007 2:58 AM

thank you for making my week.

Posted by: mk on January 27, 2007 8:11 AM

Hey Matt,

Do you think you could set me up on a date with Blair Warner?

Posted by: benny on January 27, 2007 10:27 AM

Your mother rocks.

Posted by: maggie on January 27, 2007 11:02 AM

The poster for a John Hughes movie that was never made.

Posted by: Lung The Younger on January 27, 2007 1:37 PM

On behalf of MOMS everywhere...let me say that all of you are in danger from the collections of photographs that we are just waiting to unleash upon the internet. Be kind to us -- all of us.

Posted by: Nugget's mom on January 27, 2007 6:26 PM

Wow. The. Jeans. Oh. My. God.

Your mom rocks. hahaha

Posted by: Debra on January 27, 2007 10:38 PM

You look really keen and all, except those tenny runner look like they've seen better days.

I'm just glad I went to high school in the '70s, thus ensuring that there are no fashion-disaster pictures of *me* waiting to leap out and embarrass me.

Posted by: MarkDM on January 28, 2007 3:05 PM

You actually blend into the background. With the exception of the suspenders and tie, of course.

I bet all the girls thought you were a sexy thing :)

Posted by: Tom on January 28, 2007 7:27 PM

Ooh, you would've been the coolest guy at the dance at my junior high! Love the skinny tie.

Posted by: Her Ladyship on January 29, 2007 6:24 AM

That is one stylish 80's teen - down to the matching bars and tie. Ooooh! and look at those acid-washed jeans.
I wish I'd seen this photo before my friends had an 80's retro-dress party last year.

Posted by: weremonkey on January 29, 2007 6:45 AM

I love the comment by "The Queen" that this shirt is actually in your closet!! Suspenders and tie too???

BTW - Mom's always LOVE the most embarassing photos of their children - it's called blackmail for all that the child put us through!!!

Posted by: aMOMamous on January 29, 2007 7:43 AM


Posted by: kbow on January 29, 2007 1:13 PM

This is the greatest string of comments ever!

Matt, you've doomed yourself to phony posts by "The Queen" from now on.

Posted by: Rob Cockerham on January 29, 2007 4:42 PM

Are you related to Howard Jones, or just the president of his fan club?

Posted by: Karl on January 29, 2007 6:32 PM

I think I had a picture of you in my locker in ninth grade?

Posted by: Meg on January 30, 2007 10:16 AM

Are you sure you aren't one of the "Corey"s ?

Posted by: Ryan on January 30, 2007 1:00 PM

For some reason this makes me think of those American Apparel ads. Could be the tie.

Posted by: solaana on January 30, 2007 6:57 PM

Oh my god. We should have totally dated. Or gone on mtv or been in a John Hughes film. If only there had been an eighties myspace.

Here is my eighties myspace pic, so you can see for yourself. http://k1969.blogspot.com/2006/11/dont-you-want-me-baby-i-was-working-as.html

Posted by: Kyran @ Notes to Self on January 31, 2007 4:41 AM

Wow. You must have graduated the same year I did!

Posted by: Badger on January 31, 2007 10:23 AM

OMG! Is that tie knit? Because if it is I had a very similar outfit... except the accent color for me was practically pink.

Posted by: Thom on January 31, 2007 2:14 PM

That is the most fantastically embarrassing photo I've ever seen. Thank you for making my day.

Posted by: erika on February 1, 2007 5:30 AM

i laughed and cried.

Posted by: Anonymous on February 2, 2007 8:21 AM

Dear. Lord. Al. Might. Y. This is the best wayback machine picture I have ever, ever seen. Thanks for a much-needed laugh.

Posted by: Julie Thomas on February 2, 2007 2:11 PM

Did I date you in middle school? I think we danced to "Crazy for You" by Madonna.

Posted by: TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre on February 3, 2007 12:37 PM

This picture completes me.

Posted by: Chollyson on February 6, 2007 4:13 PM