Recent Tweets
- Lonely pair of discarded pants / Laying by the side of the road / Who cruelly abandoned you / Just as the party got started? Sep 22, 06:01 PM
- Turkey bacon is to bacon what Paris Hilton is to Audrey Hepburn. Sep 23, 07:42 AM
- "I am suspending my campaign--and call on Senator Obama to do likewise--so we can jointly address Clay Aiken's wholly unexpected gayness." Sep 24, 01:36 PM
- Kind of bummer out that I just lost the game, but at least you just lost it as well. Sep 25, 03:58 PM
- Palin's recent statements: it's like she has an internal library of talking points but was accidentally left on "shuffle mode". Sep 25, 04:40 PM
- I'm going to start announcing my daily accomplishments via Twitter. 140 characters will be ample. Sep 26, 03:48 PM
- Got my first issue of "Tattoo Scene Magazine". Herve Villechaize's interview is great, as are his tips for spicing up your sex life. Sep 27, 10:06 AM
- The idea that McCain said "horseshit" is nonsense. Watch the tape again--he is clearly singing Salt 'n' Pepa's "Push It" under his breath. Sep 27, 10:31 AM
- Joke I just thought up: Why do melons have traditional weddings? Because they cantaloupe. *** MUST CREDIT MATTHEW BALDWIN!! *** Sep 29, 09:33 AM
- My back-of-the-envelope calculations: to successfully endure Thursday's debate you will need to start drinking at 4:25 this afternoon. Sep 30, 09:29 AM
- Palintology: the study of dinosaur / human coexistence. Sep 30, 02:06 PM
