Posted on October 02, 2008 to Tweets
- Lonely pair of discarded pants / Laying by the side of the road / Who cruelly abandoned you / Just as the party got started?
- Turkey bacon is to bacon what Paris Hilton is to Audrey Hepburn.
- "I am suspending my campaign--and call on Senator Obama to do likewise--so we can jointly address Clay Aiken's wholly unexpected gayness."
- Kind of bummer out that I just lost the game, but at least you just lost it as well.
- Palin's recent statements: it's like she has an internal library of talking points but was accidentally left on "shuffle mode".
- I'm going to start announcing my daily accomplishments via Twitter. 140 characters will be ample.
- Got my first issue of "Tattoo Scene Magazine". Herve Villechaize's interview is great, as are his tips for spicing up your sex life.
- The idea that McCain said "horseshit" is nonsense. Watch the tape again--he is clearly singing Salt 'n' Pepa's "Push It" under his breath.
- Joke I just thought up: Why do melons have traditional weddings? Because they cantaloupe. *** MUST CREDIT MATTHEW BALDWIN!! ***
- My back-of-the-envelope calculations: to successfully endure Thursday's debate you will need to start drinking at 4:25 this afternoon.
- Palintology: the study of dinosaur / human coexistence.